One Day

A Story by Elim

A dog's owner suicides.

She has a knife. What is she doing with it? I have seen her, so many times, chopping vegetables with it. I remember watching the food. I'm always watching food. For breakfast this morning I had: a potato, some yoghurt, that weird meat thing (I have no idea where it came from)...

...

I can't do this anymore. I still remember those haunting screams. Maybe it was just one, replayed over and over again by my twisted mind. I will never know. I will never know anything. Ever since that day I have never been the same. I've changed for the worse, and nothing can pull me out of the dark hole I have fallen into, ever since...

...

I see a prickle of colour on the end of the knife. I believe it is the colour that they call... red. It drips onto the grass and disappears. I remember one time when she had that knife and was chopping food for me. The same colour had appeared on the knife, but more of it, and suddenly she was lying on the ground, sleeping, but she kept moving around and screaming while she was sleeping, so I told her to get up and finish making the food for me, because I was HUNGRY.

...

No one even cares anymore. That time I collapsed, no one came rushing to my care, no one tried to help me, no one even bothered to get me any medical attention. No one but my stupid dog. Sometimes she is my only friend, and not a friend worth having. Well, I have my knife now. I can end it. If I just plunge the blade deep into my heart, it could all be over. I could be free, free from the life I have been forced to live...

...

Now she's lifting the knife. Her eyes are closed though, as if she's sleeping again. She's always sleeping now. Every day I try to wake her up but it takes forever and then she's too tired to play with me and it’s not fair because she's my friend and I try so hard to make her happy why won't she play with me just one more time it's NOT FAIR.

...

My dreams are all nightmares. I see a butterfly, and I'm sure that I'm free, no more horrifying visions, and suddenly it morphs, and its wings are dripping with blood, face covered in scars and it lunges at me... But that's nothing compared to real life. Real life is no more real than a dream is, and I never want to endure it. When my dream seems to be ending, I beg it not to. If only one day I could sleep, and never wake up...

I guess I'll have to end this life myself.

...

She lifts the knife again, and I feel that she's going to do something horrible. I watch apprehensively as it plummets into her chest, and that colour that I had seen before, there's more of it now, a never ending fountain of ‘red’ exploding from her. I couldn't control myself anymore, I charge through the fence that had kept me captive for so long and lie down next to her, with her, forever.

If only one day I could sleep, and never wake up...