I was Different

Death of blind person after being... bullied? This is my first story, probably not very good, I am only 13. There is death, don't read if you aren't comfortable with that.

They ask me how I read.

With fingertips brushing against dots of knowledge, a language not many will ever know. They, the ignorant, the indifferent, will never understand how much each bump means. They taunt me. “Ah, what is the meaning of this, young idiot?”

“Worthless, you are, worthless!”

They ask me how I see.

In my mind’s eye, I see trees of gold, skies of silver, oceans of crystals. Things that they, the ignorant, the indifferent, cannot imagine. They mock me. “Is that all you see, you fool?”

“Worthless, you are, worthless!”

They ask me how I live.

With breath in my lungs that I relish, with blood in my veins that I cherish, with life in my limbs that I love. They, the ignorant, the indifferent, will never be able to appreciate these things. Here they are, tossing it away, stealing it from me. They insult me once more. “You don’t need to keep it, this life of yours, stupid!”

“Worthless, you are, worthless!”

I hear a bang. All the things that I have ever seen, ever known, I know again now. As I sink into the warm grasp of death, I feel life float off to wherever a life goes when deprived of its occupant. It flutters away, a small white bird surrounded by darkness. I wave goodbye to it, and hope that I’m going to a better place now. I doubt it.

After all, I am worthless.

Author's Note

Please review, I really want to know what's good AND bad about this, so don't be afraid to criticise, just don't say anything about what it's actually about if the ideas aren't what you like.

Reviews

[sirA]

The last paragraph was incredible, the story as a whole was very well written.Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, although I would have liked a description of the bad guys so I could picture their actions better, but that would require you to do third person point of view, which probably wasn't what you were aiming for or maybe it can be written as if he had heard from someone how they looked.

[Elim]

Thanks for reviewing! Yea, it wasn't possible for me to add description.

[.]

-- i think this is very well-written... -- i think your language is very poetic... -- also, the repetition of the word "worthless" works for this piece... -- it's a very tragic story and it moves the reader so i think it's narrated effectively...

[Elim]

Thanks, its good to know that it has achieved the intended effect of moving the reader.

[.]

-- you're welcome...

[Leeci]

Sad, i think you captured the character's despair. I like how you described his version of seeing, "In my mind’s eye, I see trees of gold, skies of silver, oceans of crystals. " I think you could maybe more descriptive of the main character and the bully so the reader can contrast their personalities. Overall a good read,keep it up.

[Elim]

Thanks for your feedback. I admit that I did try to incorporate some description, but it didn't fit with the overall structure, so I left it out. Next time I will keep it in mind to try and add more details like that.