everything sucks pt. 1

a letter

I have been drowning for a while. Drowning significantly impairs speech, so I will try my hardest to halfway convey whatever it is that I am trying to say. You should know that I do not write new friends letters very often, in fact I think that this is a first. If I were to give you an excuse, a pardon or an explanation for this bit of writing, which I guess I feel is necessary, I would say something along the lines of: my coffee cup is overflowing and I need some way to spill some foam.

Nevertheless, it starts out with me, entering the world, exiting the womb, with a full appetite for emotions and a heart so ready to go into cardiac arrest over the faintest tingle of the toes, as I am sure this has been apparent to you. (excuse my stupid habits, please & thank you.)
Progressing onto who I am now, this impairment or gift, you decide, has learned how to manage itself. Rarely does the passionate/impulsive person show its face and right now it is smiling this god-awful smile, so I am pretty sure I am full into the process of making a fool of myself.

Maybe I just need a friend who can understand the plight of passion I go through everyday, maybe I need someone who I can make laugh, maybe I don’t need anyone and my brains going rebellious

Though with every moment I am confused and I pick apart sentences and silences and have inexhaustibly high standards, I have found something in you that I like. I think it’s shimmering or glinting…something shiny. Whatever it is, I like it. I do know that you have a life of confusion already, this life of yours, though one of great mystery is your property and yours to do with whatever you please... Do what you have to do. It does seem, however, that we have this insane connection in which it is magnetically, thus physically impossible for us to not run/talk/bicker around/in/outside of each other (I don’t mind).

Now, you probably would love to run miles and miles away, but please, I dare you, hold on for one reason, or maybe more. Maybe for the future, maybe for forgetting the past, or maybe for enjoying a friendship that will no doubt be confusing and long and beautiful and passionate and worth telling your grandchildren about. Just don’t hold on for my sake, for my self-esteem or for my fondness of you. If you crumple me up and only smooth out my edges when you’re bored, I will not hesitate to be the one who runs away.

That was me, taking your air. And this is me, giving you my wings.

Reviews

[Mr. Lopez]

I like how un-selfish this is. You ask only for consideration as a human with feelings and in return give all the rope one needs to walk away or hang themselves. Not to say that you wish harm or misfortune on another. But you live and let live without anger or resentment ... i felt anyway. Very admirable and beautifully written.

[Hedra Helix]

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo