Stay With Me

A story of young love tainted when one of them ends up having symptoms of herpes, and then the journey of how the two cope with this new addition to their lives.

“I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out and say it.” He said, shifting from one foot to the next.  “I have a breakout, it’s uh, it’s on my lip.  I just noticed it a couple of hours ago, so after you left. I’m not sure what it is yet, but if it is what I’m thinking of…I went down on you, and then we had sex without protection and �" f**k, I-I don’t know what to say.  I’m so sorry, Elanna. I’m going to go to the doctor tomorrow to get this checked out, but I swear to god, I never cheated on you. I just, I don’t know what to think and…”

He continued talking, but all I could do was just stare at him.  I heard the words he was saying, but I wasn’t truly processing them.  A part of me wanted to breathe out a huge breath of relief because for some reason when he started urgently calling and texting me my mind went into panic mode over the idea of him breaking up with me. But this was nothing to feel relief over, and the look on his face �" oh god, the look on his face…

“If it’s bad… Will you stay with me?” He asked quietly, reaching for my hand.

I almost asked what he meant because for some reason I heard something along the lines of ‘did you notice anything going on down there?’ Clearly my mind was already traveling to what this could mean for me, but luckily I caught myself before I could ask anything stupid. It all seemed to take a long time for me when in reality my mind processed his question all within 2 seconds.  I immediately pulled him in to my arms, telling him that of course I wouldn’t leave him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ernie.” I murmured, holding him tightly.  He responded by squeezing me tightly, nearly lifting me off of my feet so that he could press his face into my neck.  My heart sank lower into my chest as I felt the skin of my neck begin to grow damp.  Having him fall apart in my arms like this… “Hey, look at me,” I pulled back ever so slightly so that I could look him in the eyes. “Don’t jump to conclusions yet, okay? You don’t know if this even is anything.  Just try to breathe, alright? You’ll see your doctor tomorrow and then you can get some answers.”

He nodded, letting out a deep breath. “My mom told me not to even tell you yet.  She said that I was going to make an a*s out of myself if I got you all worked up and it turns into nothing, but I told her that I had to tell you.  I mean, we had sex just hours before it showed up so you’re a part of this too.”

“I’m glad you came to me regardless though. I want to be there for you, always. I can’t do that if you don’t tell me when something’s wrong.” I said, running my fingers through his hair.

“I love you so much.” He said, pulling me back into him. “So much.”

“I love you too,” I said softly, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Everything is going to be okay, even if this does turn out to be something.”

“You know how some people get married after having a child? Well this is going to be it for us.  If I have herpes, I’m marrying you.” He said, forcing out a slight chuckle to lighten the mood.

“Oh really?” I asked, laughing along with him. “So what, you’re just going to strap down the girl that this happened with?”

“Yep! We’re going to have to get married, and that’s that.” He said, giving me a cheeky smile.

“Well alright, if you insist..” I teased back, shaking my head at him.

His smile dropped suddenly and he sighed, leaning against his car and looking at his feet. “I guess I should head home and try to get some sleep.  I swear I’m going to take like 6 shots though when I get home.”

“That’s probably a good idea…Let me know when you get home though, alright?” I said, reaching up to run my fingers through his hair once again.

“I will.” He murmured, pulling me in for one more hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I said softly, pressing my face into his chest.

*          *          *

Herpes. He might have herpes?  I sat down at the edge of my bed, pulling out my phone to do the obvious thing: text my best friend. 

So Ernie just left. He was freaking out because he has a breakout on his lip and thinks its herpes. He’s going to the doctor tomorrow so we’ll find out then but if it is herpes then this is really bad because he went down on me TODAY and then after that we had sex without a condom!!!

I knew that this probably was nothing to worry about because the sore could be from a number of things.  I didn’t even see it, all I knew was that it was inside of his mouth on his upper lip.  Like I told him, it could be that he bit himself and then there was a bacterial infection.  It could be…It could be anything. In fact, I found that I wasn’t worried at all.  It didn’t surprise me that he would freak out and jump to conclusions like that because he was so conscious of his sexual health.  It’s the same idea as me freaking out that maybe I’m pregnant every time my period is one day late.

Aubrey, of course, agreed with me as well that he was just jumping to conclusions and we had nothing to worry about yet.  I tried to push the concerns out of my mind as I quickly packed my bag so that I could get in bed and just go to sleep. 

With the lights out and silence in the air, it was hard not to reimagine the pained look on Ernie’s face, over and over again… I sighed and reached over to grab my phone from the nightstand so that I could set an alarm for the morning, finding a text message from Ernie.

I love you so much and care about you. You’re my everything.

I closed my eyes for a moment, just letting those words sink in.  I’m his everything? A small smile tugged at the corner of my lips, and suddenly all my worrisome thoughts disappeared.  I am his everything.  He’d never said something like that to me before, not until now, and f**k did it feel good to know.  

Author's Note

I'm planning on expanding this. I guess if anything it would be a preview of the first chapter of a book that I'm working on. So please, please leave honest thoughts!