This Feeling

 She feels lost. Empty. Confused. She looks happy, laughs, dances, sings, gets into trouble and laughs away, shes different.  She seems to always be day dreaming, stuck in another world where dragons exist and knights fight to the death, Until someone snaps at her and suddenly she springs back into the real world. Inside, shes a mess struggling to keep it together. She is grateful for everyone, she knows she has a loving family and amazing friends, but something bothers her. How is it one person can confuse her so? How can one person be by her side always and make her feel like something special..just stop? Stop talking, stop calling, stop texting, stop touching, all of it. This feeling? How long has it been since she's felt this feeling? What is it? Does she feel abandoned? Yes yes, abandoned. Abandoned and heart broken. But why? He was never hers from the beginning. Why does it it hurt so much? She didn't want to feel this way from the beginning, He knew. But why does he do this? Why does she find her eyes tearing up whenever she see's him pass her? Did he even care about her? She covers this feeling. Tries to shove it deep down inside of her so it barely shows, and it doesn't, her smile covers it all. She's not sure if she can confront him or tell him how she feels, if she even understands how she feels herself. If he could just tell her whats wrong, at least speak up and tell her that he doesn't want to be her friend anymore or whatever they had...it wouldn't hurt so much. She's tired of telling him how she feels, she wants him to come to her, but will it even happen? She day dreams more than usual now, her friends try to cheer her up, succeeding almost always. She has to tell him soon...I have to tell him soon. This is the part that i hate to realize. The girl is me.  I have to snap awake from this and face it.