FAREWELL TO MY GRANDDAD LUTHER JAMES PHILLIPS

My grandfather passed this week. It has been hard for me to deal with so I just wrote my thoughts...

 

 

 

I cannot start this as a poet. I cannot start it as an elegist trying to rhyme
I can only start this as your grandson; expressing what’s on my mind
This has been a hard week; I keep trying to accept that you’re gone
It feels like my heart just stopped working, but I still had to carry on

I wanted so bad to see you; I just wanted to hold your hand in mine
I just wanted to see your smile; I wanted to say I love you one last time
I was angry that I didn't make it; I cannot lie about my tears
But I found peace in the conciliation that I said it for 39 years

To so many you were an example: Counselor, engineer, security guard, and a clerk
The first employee of Haymarket House; helping Father McDermott with his work
I never saw you flinch for a moment; 365 24/7 you were on call
Giving a hand to addictions victims and refusing to let them fall
David and I would come to visit you, and you always gave us your time
Showing us through your actions how a real man was defined

To us you were a force of nature, big and complex was your love
A stern talk when it was needed just to give us a needed shove
Putting money in our pockets even when it was not always deserved
And taking the time to give some wisdom in your stories or supportive words
Your house was full of our accolades, family awards and pictures on every wall
It is amazing to me even now, how you and Donna kept track of it all

You are still my hero, and it will stay that way for all time
A grandfather that would often give reason to my often troubled mind
at 16, I shared with you my first screenplay, I told you what I wanted to do
You never laughed at me once; you just said "Do it and see it through!"
Every time I shared a poem, I would glow from seeing your smile
Just to hear you say something was good made the effort itself worthwhile

I love you Granddad more than I could ever show
You gave me so much love and gave me strength to grow
I will miss those big huge hugs
They would wrap around me like a glove

I will miss the endless stories; about singers, shows and songs
I will miss how we would all laugh when you chimed in with your baritone
You would smile and tell Felicia which singer sang what scale wrong
And then demonstrate to Joseph how it should have been sung all along

James Cleveland, Shirley Caesar, Lee Williams, Mighty Clouds of Joy
Inez Andrews, Swan Silver tones, and numerous Gospel singing Blind Boys
We listened to so much music, so many singers that you knew and could recall
And after hours of your endless tapes you children and Grandchildren knew them all
If we didn't like the old singer or thought the old "Spirituals" were just too bland
You would quickly respond on cue: 'You all just don't understand!"
I grew up to love Gospel Music or "Spirituals" as you would say
Because they reminded me of you every time I heard them played.

Some thought you were cantankerous, but they just didn't quite understand
See beneath that crotchety rough exterior was a just and kind hearted man
Always willing to help others and ensure that those in need were always fed
It didn't matter if you were sick; you wanted to make sure others had a bed
See life is a maelstrom and everything in it will not always be nice
You cannot stand in the world’s wildfire without possessing a little ice

My Soldiers and Sailors know what I call the Luther Phillips’ gene
It is the spirit of aberration that is needed to accomplish your dreams
It is my source of determination, my dedication to my goals
It means doing a job right because your efforts effect the whole
My 16 years in the Navy pale in comparison to your Haymarket House 38
But I am guided by your example in every important decision that I make
A person must be committed to the task to get the mission done
It may seem stubborn or obstinate, but that is how victories are won

I will sincerely miss you, and the place you held in my heart and life
I will remember every fun day with you, and the day you met my wife
I remember you told Tina; "You always felt like one of mine."
Then you told me to be good to her because a good woman is hard to find
So many guiding whispers that I still hear inside my head each day
So even though you are gone, you still guide me on my way
I see you in my children, in the faces of all my four boys
I hear you in their music, I see you in their joy

Granddad....
I stand here as you enter eternity reflecting on our years
Looking at friends and family struggling with their tears
But I stand here to fulfill the promise that you once asked
I tried to put your life to paper in a quite impossible task
You told me once in a hospital that you wanted a poem like this
You wanted a poem that I wrote out of love to be my final gift
I struggled very hard to define a uniquely brilliant a man
Who taught me many things, but most importantly how to stand

I leave you this last passage, as my poetic lines to you
It is not much in its construction, but it is from my heart to you:

In the arms of the savior, you ascend outside of time
No more pain and sorrow, no troubles on your mind
Your body is spiritual splendor, your soul completely pure
You move into eternity with a step strong and sure
Music is at play, and you join in with your baritone
Great grandma and your sisters all meet you at the throne
No oxygen tanks, no pain, just love to lift your soul
A chosen child of God moving to reach your final goal
You hear all our love; because God allows you to hear
You give that wondrous smile that I held so dear
Then God smiles and says:

"Luther your race is finally won
Come forward my faithful servant
Victory is yours! Job well done!"

I love you Granddaddy
Live in the peace of God until we meet again.

© 2013 Eddie Phillips

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

This is such a magnificent tribute to your grandfather, and to your family that I wanted to stand up and cheer, "BRAVO" as I read the last word!!! Oh yes, you shall meet again!

You have much to be thankful for and the gifts given to you through your dear grandfather!! May his memory ever live on through you my friend!! I am sure they shall!!!

Beautiful, and so very, very well written - every word from your heart and soul!!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is an absolutely beautiful, heartfelt poem of love, longing, and loss. Your words ring as clear as a bell, and the length of the poem reiterates how much love you have for your grandfather. While I wasn't so fortunate as to know such love from family in my life, I am always happy for those that do. I smile, knowing that God graced you with an angel, who brushed you with his wings.

I just know he's keeping your place at the table until you return home to feast with him again.

God bless you and your family, and I hope the memories bring you comfort during your time of sorrow.

[Rita L. Sev]

Eddie, I am so sorry for your loss. You have paid such beautiful tribute to your grandfather here. In these lines:
"Showing us through your actions how a real man is defined..."
You write a legacy that all good men long for. You have done him proud.