THE MAD MOUSE CATCHER

Don't know why I wrote this...bored I guess! LOL Its a little insane

 

I hate mice!  Their rancid smell and beady little eyes
I hate their use of profanity as they squeak when I walk by
I take great pleasure in hunting down their rancid kind
I play it out as a game!  I get inside their minds!
If a mouse is so unlucky to creep inside my door
I cackle at the horrors they will soon endure

 

People lay down simple traps but to me that’s just insane
See catching a filthy mouse is a sublimely calculated game
Mice mostly hide and scamper; they try to stay out of your way
You have to play the friend to make them want to play

 

First you build their inner confidence; you feed them and play nice
They tend to get real comfortable and start coming out day and night
They don't know it but you got them; they no longer see you as a threat
HA HA HA, you got them in a trap that they will live to regret!

 

My devices can be really intricate for our little friends
It depends on my mood, how I make them to meet their end
My favorite device is "The Cave” It’s a glue filled cardboard box
I surround it with old food and garbage,  a couple of my stinky socks
The mouse is drawn to this Heaven; it’s the fulfillment of all its dreams
They run into eternity so fast you can barely hear them scream

 

My family thinks I am crazy!  That crap really make me mad!
Who wants arrogant mice playing in all the things they have?
I just tell them they are hypocrites!  I continue on my way. 
Joyously slaughtering the little critters that stops by my house to play!

 

© 2013 Eddie Phillips

Reviews

[Constance Payne]

This is such a sad little piece. I prefer not to have mice in my house; however, I prefer not to torture them. I wonder are we the tiny mine in another universe and the struggles we go through are just a sadistic mouse catcher.....

Well Written

[Baby Ricochet]

I've used a make shift flame thrower made from a lighter and hair spray on roaches before. You gotta strike the fear of God into the little b******s. Great poem Eddie. I can relate

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

ooooh, this was glorious fun! :D
Smiling all through here... hee hee hee.
I wish it were rats you were talking about though...i kinda like mice, but oh well. #shrugs
i really enjoyed this eddie, great poem...i should do one for roaches though.....

[Eddie Phillips]

LOL With a picture like that my kids wouldn't play at this guys house.

[Marie]

My pet mouse Randi is never going to play at your house; I can tell you that!