YESTERDAY'S REGRET

This happened to someone I know. Truthfully it happens to people all the time. I hope I got the emotion right.

 

 

I lie here in the darkness my face turned to the empty wall
Silently soaking my pillow as sorrowful tears continue to fall

 

How did I get here? This was not the plan I set.
Lying in this bed of lies haunted by memories of regret.

 

Haunted by her face, remembering her singular kiss,
My heart reaching out in darkness for the love I now miss.

In the memory of my mind you whisper
I hear you call my name,
I grimace from the sound
As more tears fall  in shame.

(I am broken from the memories that flood my troubled head
as your surrogate bumps my leg, as she turns in my bed.)

 

What the Hell was I thinking?
I should have listened to what you said.
But I didn't and now I lie here with this substitute in my bed
I shake my head to rattle out the thoughts on my mistake
hoping to wake up from the guilt of my chosen fate

 

I knew I should have married you
You always had my heart
But I was stupid, and she was willing
so I let this affair tear us apart

Now all I have is the solitude and the regret of living a lie
Wishing I never hurt you and ever made you cry

 

Last week I saw your brother
He said you were maried

you found your other

and I knew at the moment you were gone forever

 

He said your husbands name was Roy
He said you had a baby, a little boy

and another one resting inside your bun

 

Now I know  you're really free
and I know you don't think of me
Well, maybe when you think of hurt and shame

 

Now i finally see; its all my fault, just me
I ran away the love that was meant to be

My heart breaks in the quiet night

and fears and tears take flight

knowing I lost my God given one..

 

(The Surrogate reaches to feel me near, and I get up out of fear. 

I dont want her to see my tears)
 
I walk to the window and stare up at the Moon
Night is fading and day will come soon

 

I pray for night to pass to morning

So I can forget this endless wanting

forget the memories as they fade in time

I regret that I lost you, I was young and wrong
Now I pray that God allows me to move on

I learned regret is passions crime

which stays in my mind
For true love may only come once in time
and if you let it go you may lose your way
as you regret and miss it every day.

(The surrogate is up and she slowly walks my way)

In the dark she asks "Hey are you okay?"

I reply, "I'm fine"

I wipe my tears and turn her way
As my regret awaits the blessed cloak of day.

 

© 2012 Eddie Phillips

Reviews

[Constance Payne]

This is filled with pain and heartbreak.
The tears of regret are those that sting the worse for there is no going back once that bridge is crossed.
Well written.

"I learned regret is passions crime
which stays in my mind"

When I read this I had to read it twice because my mind added the word captured ....

"I learned regret is passions crime
Which stays within my captured mind"

Just a thought....of course I have not had enough coffee yet...

This is well written....

[Azriel]

love this one a lot eddie, i think you captured the sense of regret really well here. all the emotions come out really well through both the choice in powerful language and dialogue. overall i liked this one a lot, especially the last 3 stanzas.

[redflutterby]

Well written poem about how one regrets when they realize the grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence. I think all of us can relate to this...doing someone wrong and wishing we hadn't. Hindsight is 20/20 though...would we truly appreciate "the one" if we hadn't lost them in the first place? Quite the conundrum really!

[Eddie Phillips]

Please comment. Bad or good I would appreciate the feedback. I am new on the site.