Man’s Tower

The piercing yellow light that shined down on earth from above reflected off of its giant, glass, spotless windows. The mighty marvel of engineering stood tall in the face of any element. Its meticulously planned and engineered frame towered over all that was near. Layers of steel, glass, and concrete were constructed with mathematical precision and carefully planned execution. It’s ingenuity was not to overshadow its ease on the eyes. Upon looking at the building one was sucked into the stark contrast of bold lines that cut into the air. The seemingly seamless transition from blue sky into the glass reflection of floating clouds caught anyone’s awe. This object of the eye shot farther into the sky than anything before, stunningly conquering heights over 2,000 feet. Upon glaring further into one of the perfectly untouched windows one would find men and women shuffling papers in expensive clothing. Each worrying and mulling over some other important business matter. That building was a giant among any peer, shooting up, into, and past the clouds. Its body came to an elongated point as though it were trying to pierce into the heavens. From its top to its bottom hours and hours of carefully planned thought and hands came together to hoist it up. Humanity's wit, strength, and triumph expressed itself throughout, from the elongated top to each perfectly aligned window, all the way down to its opening doors that resided at the bottom. And it was there at the bottom where a man in torn clothing sat up against the building. His face was marred with dirt, his eyes hardly ever lifted above the dress shoes that walked by,and over him, His sunken cheeks were covered by a tangled, overgrown, and unkept beard. Beneath his tattered shirt a slowly heaving chest moved up and down at the pace that it could. His skin stuck to tight to his exposed rib cage. Sometimes with his palms facing up, his head would kick back to face to the sky, but all there was to see was an endless tower.

Reviews

[Kane Hagwood]

This is a good story with a lot of shock and awe bouncing on the diving board, but not quiet diving into the story. I see major potential in this work, but never feel you need to change anything. Any writing advice I may give is optional. That being said, maybe trying mixing the length of your sentences a bit. It adds effect. I'm not perfect about that rule, mind you. Sometimes, when I've got a lot going on in my brain, it all just rushes out! Don't be afraid to play with the wording a bit, and maybe turning this large paragraph into multiple smaller ones. It may help the flow of the story even more. Other than that, nice work and a grand amount of creativity motivated this piece. I look forward to reading your future work.

[ekostim]

Thanks for the feedback! I will keep that in mind as I continue to write and make edits.