Adrenaline ran through my veins. My heart raced. With my quivering hands, I opened the drawer and grabbed the scissors. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I didn’t care. I craved the relief. So I made the decision right there. I put the cold, sharp blade down, and dragged it across my skin. At first, nothing came. I tried again, harder this time. There it was. I could feel the world melt away. The tension was gone. In that moment I found comfort in my own blood. It was embarrassingly shallow, and didn't feel like enough. And it wasn’t. Thats why it’s so hard to stop. You go from a rubber band, to beating yourself, to cutting with scissors, to cutting with a blade. You run your fingers along your fading scars and ache for more.