Lost On The Path To Nowhere

On the outside I put on a smile,

A smile for everyone else to see.

I want everyone to think

I am put together, happy, and know who I am.

Inside I am falling apart. 

I know what is wrong.

I know I am nowhere close to happy.

 

I have no idea of who I am.

I know who I used to be, before I fell apart. 

I know what I should be.

I know what I want to be. 

I am not any of those.

I am just a lost soul. 

Lost on the path to nowhere.

I have a single person to turn to,

but I do not know how.

 

Inside, I am constantly crying.

I cry. 

I ache. 

There is little happiness,

And almost nothing brings any.

I used to be strong, happy, loving, 

Sure of who I was.

Sure of what I wanted. 

I am not what I once was.

I am weak, lonely, and fearful. 

I put on this mask of happiness 

For everyone to see,

And it works. 

They think I am okay. 

They think I am happy.

 

I don't want to bother or worry them. 

So I get up in the morning, 

Sorrow for just a moment,

Then put my mask on, 

And smile a fake smile.

If you look closely,

you can see,

there is no light left in my eyes,

No ray of sunshine,

To share with others.

This is me, 

But only for now. 

I have to change. 

I can not live like this, because this not living.

Author's Note

When I wrote this I wasn't writing it for it to be a poem, or for anyone else to see. I wrote it because these are my feelings. This is my life right now and I wanted to write it down and organize my thoughts. You can see my original, which isn't as much of a poem as this one because of the formatting. I have arranged this version to flow better, and to make certain parts stand out to readers. Reviews are always welcome!

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Dear Elizabeth,
This will probably sound weird------ what is right,
more chit-chat, or the truth ?
-----In your mind you create the world-----Buddha.
Remembering that---you create your world, turn to others
the people that you would like to see happy
Make an effort to understand those people, make them happy,
even if it is only a smile. Sometimes a smile can change the
world, it has for many people.

When you have made others happy, take a look at you ------
You have created a new world, a world of your making and
you will be in love, in love with your world.

Thanks,
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Tracey C.]

I understand and relate to this very much so. Thank you for posting this.

-Great Job

[Elizabeth Carter]

Thank you!

[Tracey C.]

welcomes!

[krish]

hey....great one..this poems flutters me ....
hey can i make my views,on ur's this tittle...coz i too liked ur;s tittle.

[Stephany Anna]

I connect a lot with this, I find we may have a similar writing style as far as poetry goes. Good job girl.

[Elizabeth Carter]

Thank you!! :)

[ATG]

A very interesting poem. Overall it was well written. There were a few parts that broke up the pace in a negative fashion, but the theme rescued it by making it seem intentional which it very well could have been for all I know. Overall, a very good read.

[Tex]

Wonderful construct. I love the way you have made the arrangement. very, very well done.

[Tex]

a very heartfelt and honest write. It will touch many of your readers hearts. for many of us you express our thoughts in this piece. If we are not where you are now... we have been there at some point in the past. This was very well written. By using free form poetry format you can make some things stand out more and others less if you choose so you can play with that if you like... this way you can tell us what you would stress more if you were speaking to us.

Great write from the heart so it hits our hearts... well done.

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

This is poetry, Poetry is true and honest words splashed onto a page. I admire your honesty and bravery. You only have to view my works to know that I am not lying when I say I understand. I was abused, abandoned, unloved, unwanted and void of that thing called life. It took me many years of hard work to before I took my first step into the light. You have such a beautiful acceptance and that is the method of travel required to change. I will be watching your progress with great interest.

[Irene]

I love this. This is me in a nutshell.

[Elizabeth Carter]

I'm glad you were able to connect with this!

[Elizabeth Carter]

I just realized how awful that sounds... I'm not glad that this connects with your life, but what I meant to say was that I am glad that my writing was able to speak to you. Sorry about that...

[Irene]

haha that's ok. and i like the way you structured it now. very nice.

[teardrop]

kind of a relatable read, been there in my life,
keep on writing and expressing : )

[Elizabeth Carter]

:)