CH. 5 Girl Fight

  "Oh hell naw. That's the only hit you gonna get," Tanya yelled.

  "Well come on then. Since you got so much mouth, let's see how your fists move," I said.

  She got up and swung a second time. Unfortunately, she caught me. My left cheek started to burn. I quickly retaliated and grabbed her and started to swing her around. She tried to get me off of her by pulling my hair. Little did she know, I had no tracks, weave or wig. She tried to get a souvenir but it wasn't happening. I pulled her hair and a piece of her track came out. I didn't notice I pulled it out until a group of kids started yelling "LOOK AT HER WEAVE, IT LOOKS LIKE A RAT." I couldn't see them because Tanya pushed me down and jumped on top of me. She got 2 quick blows in before my girl Angelica jumped in and helped. Angelica pulled Tanya by the hair and swung her around and punched her square in the nose.

  "Damn, she got you good," a random kid stated.

  I got up and started to drag Tanya away from the huge crowd that surrounded our scene. Angelica continued to punch her in her face. Her nose started to bleed badly. Angelica resisted from hitting her again. She pulled Tanya up roughly.

  "Bring it B***h," Angelica screamed.

  Danae was watching the whole thing. When she felt the time was right, she also jumped in. Danae pushed me and I feel to the ground. she started to stomp on me,  but I was quick to cover my face with my arms. I struggled to get up. Once I did, I mushed Danae and Angelica came from behind and smashed her to the ground and started to punch her in the stomach. Tanya kicked me in the knee and uppercutted me in the chin. My mouth quickly filled with blood. I spit out a big wad of blood and continued to fight. I jabbed her three times and she got light headed and fell to the ground. I looked over and saw Danae spit on Angelica.

  "Oh hell. It ain't goin' down like that," Angelica said. Angelica pulled Danae to the ground and started to stomp on her face. After I tried to pull Angelica off of, Kyra came and helped me. Angelica's personality went from sweet to furious. She was like a wild beast. Everyone surrounded Danae. The right side of Danae's face had multiple cuts and was bleeding. 

  "Yeah, ain't so tough now huh? Mess wit my girl again and I'll f**k you up," Angelica yelled.

  "Yo, dat was crazy. Yall whopped they a*s," Trey said," Yo Angelica, I like the way you handled yourself. Maybe we can hang out sometime."

  After Angelica calmed down she answered," I would love to Trey."

  Trey walked away with a huge pudding face smile. Angelica and I slowly walked back to my house. We walked to the front door and I heard a faint voice yelling.

  "Wait for me."

  I turned around to see Kyra. I kind of wondered why she followed us home.

  "Even though your not my favorite person, thank you for helping me," Angelica said.

  "No problem. Tanya went too far and I had to warn Jade."

  "Would you like to come in," I asked.

  "Sure," Kyra responded.

  We all walked inside. We went to the kitchen and I gave Kyra and Angelica Zebra Cakes. We started talking about the fight and somehow ended up talking about Trey.

  "Are you going to go out with him," Kyra asked Angelica.

  "I don't know. He's really cute and he's real cool, but he saw me at my worse."

  "Well he liked you at your worse so imagine what he's gonna be like at your best," Kyra said.

  "Well that is true girl. When I pull out the goods, he can't resist," Angelica laughed.

  Unexpectedly, the doorbell rang. I walked to the door lazily. I opened it to find Brandon holding flowers.

  "Hey Brandon. What are you doing here," I asked.

  "I came to see you. Can we talk alone."

  "Okay, come in. Wait here in the living room."
  
  I walked back to the Kitchen with a confused smile on my face.

  "Brandon's here. He wants to talk to me. Can u guys catch me later," I asked.

  "Okay girl. Tell me what happens later," Angelica said.

  Angelica and Kyra left out the back door. I walked back in the living room. Brandon was sitting on the couch so patiently. I was kind of curious to know why he was at my house. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruined the moment. I waited for him to speak first. We sat in the living room for a little while just starring at each other. The silence was killing me so I started to say something. Before I knew it, Brandon kisses me. It was unexpected but I liked it.

  "I know I didn't get to finish what I started last night. I 'm ready."

  What exactly was he talking about? Then it dawned on me. I wasn't going to stop it. As much as I wanted it to happen last night, I wasn't going to ruin my chances today. I got up and led Brandon up to my room. When we got up to my room, Brandon stopped.

  "Are you ready"

 

Reviews

[<3Lil.Bit(:]

Ohh I hate cliffhangers haha. Again you used "u" like you were texting. Try to put in some emotion and a little more detail. I should be able to see whats going on in my mind.

~Skulli

[Prateeksha Khot]

that was good

[Dutch Jr.]

AGHH!! You left me hanging on the end of this one. I was ready for some more. But, overall, a pretty good write, with some grammatical errors and typos that I'm not going to worry about right now.

Okay, put some exclamation in your dialogue, and add in some more interesting verbs. Read some of the other works by authors who write this type of literature, to get a good feel of the work, and to know you're on the right track. Good work, and I can see that you're starting to increase your narrating. Don't be afraid to give a paragraph to explaining a few things about the characters, especially how they look. Its sort of hard to get a good mental picture when you don't give enough detail.

But, again, a good chapter, and I'm eager to see where this will lead.