The Ultimate First Kiss

Its's just a short litle story about how great ur first kiss can be.

 

The first kiss is the best feeling in the world. Robert thought so too.
Robert and his girlfriend, Jamie, were at school and Robert was
thinking about doing something special for Jamie. He told Jamie to meet
him after school by the gym. Robert told Jamie that he would pick her
up and take her somewhere special. She started to get excited.


When Robert got home, he started to make the arrangements for this Italian
Restaurant across town. He went to pick up Jamie. She came out of her
loft looking beautiful. She had on a long purple gown with her hair
pinned up. Robert's mouth dropped to the floor in awe. Jamie said good
evening in her best sophisticated voice. Robert couldn’t say anything.
He helped Jamie as she got in the car. Jaime asked Robert if he was
alright. He said he was fine. Jaime asked Robert where they were going,
but Robert said it was a surprised. When they pulled up in front of the
restaurant, Robert hurried to open Jaime’s door. When she got out of
the car, there were photographers taking pictures. Jaime told Robert
that she felt like she just stepped into a movie.


When they went inside, Robert had rose petals all over the table. Jaime was so
flattered. Robert asked the chef if he could prepare porcini dusted sea
scallops with tomato relish. As they started to eat their delicious
dinner, Robert told Jaime that he was so glad that she agreed to come
because he had to say something really important. Jaime became nervous.
Robert asked Jaime if she would accept a promise ring. Jaime was so
excited she just nodded up and down. They finished their dinner and sat
there for a while talking about school, friends, their relationship,
etc. When they were done, Robert drove Jaime home. When they pulled up
to the loft, Robert got out and opened her door. He walked her up to
her door. She started to mess with her keys. Robert pulled Jaime in
close and kissed her passionately on the lips. He licked his lips
afterward. His lips tasted like peach lip gloss. Jaime smelled
Robert’s cologne. Jaime said goodnight and went inside. Robert got
inside his car and turned up the radio. He pulled away from the loft
smiling.

Reviews

[José Humilde]

J-cool, first most, I wanted to thank you for commenting on my chapter. (I enjoy writing poetry a lot more, and I struggle with short stories, sometimes.)

This was a great read, and easy read for me. Something I appreciate a lot when I read something. I have only taken one creative writing class, so I don't have much experience, but I will help you out with what I can, in the future.

The interesting thing that I found about your story was the absence of dialogue. Now, was this on purpose? Personally, I would to have loved to see how Robert and Jaime interact with each other..or maybe with other people?

Thanks for the good read.

[Dutch Jr.]

Cool write. Quite descriptive, with the sights, smells, and tastes. Good job.

[Prateeksha Khot]

that was cute.