After the divorce

At nine pm any day of the week,
I can get in the car and drive to see

the men in dark clothing hiding
in the middle of the street. They

walk like mirages or memories and
I’m not exactly sure if I would pass

through them if I were not able
to swerve away. You know that feeling

of being in a dream but you are moving
alongside the moving. This isn’t a dream.

It is the mystification of being new
in a town so far from where I came

no one even recognizes the old name.
They stumble over the sounds. Tongue

the back of their teeth trying to say it
like a baby rolling the marbles of new

words around on her tongue. Not far
off, I can hear the music of congregation,

of old friends every night - voices rising
above barrel fires. They warm themselves

outside the crumpled aluminum-foil
trailers with a kind of laughter I’ve never

heard. But I cannot see them. These times
it is fair to say there is not much more

than fire to turn on the light in eyes
that have been cauterized by the strange

branding of this back-turned world.

Reviews

[SkinlessFrank]

The sense of loss on so many levels in this poem is heartbreaking. It reminds me of that zombie-like sleepwalking that I associate with grief. We walk and we see but we don’t comprehend what it is before our eyes, and we wonder whether anything will ever be the same again.

[Eilis]

Hi, thank you for sharing your view. There is definitely a fight between clinging to familiarity and recognizing the only way forward is complete reinvention. It’s a strange place to be in. Thank you again.

[Paul in the Buff]

I was immediately drawn to the title of this writing. Such a challenging subject that so many of us have to process, and make peace with, I'm always interested in how others manage it. Your poem is engaging, and very visual. The line breaks in what feel like should be a continuous thought is very representative of the struggles to make sense of a new situation, reconciling the old, and finding a new way forward. Thank you for sharing this.

[Eilis]

Hey, Paul. I appreciate your insightful comments. There is definitely the stop start effect that comes with learning who you are in a new life. Divorce is not like anything I expected. No real way to prepare yourself for how it will feel. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

[Joli Dy]

And now I am haunted; "men in dark clothing hiding in the middle of the street" and cauterized eyes will be my companions tonight. I welcome such hauntings.

[Eilis]

Hi, Joli. I love how alive we can be in the middle of new experiences and how much that makes us see. Thank you for your visit.

[Joli Dy]

That speaks directly to the season I find myself in. It is not a season I chose, but yes, everything is vibrant, new, and filled with possibility. Thank you for that insight.

[Eilis]

The intensity of these times is difficult to go through, the best we can do, I guess, is hold on to the hope of better things.

[Joli Dy]

...and each other. You're a good soul.

[Arundass TP]

Excellent writing putting all your feelings and imagination. Nicely written poem

[Eilis]

Thanks for reading, Arundass

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I swerved away from life after my first divorce. the others passed like your speaker in the night, others unaware of the heartbreak...and me? Just feeling I need to move on.
To feel unnoticed before, during and after a split....does test the resolve of the spirit.
j.

[Eilis]

It’s a strange space to inhabit. The split happened years before in spirit but the physical leaving is something you can’t really be prepared for. The need to reinvent. Thank you for your understanding comments.