Learning to Live

Like flower petals the days have fallen
away. Counting, childishly, all the meals
I could not eat, I have stored the numbers
like wafers under my tongue instead. Count
the moons as they give birth then disappear.
Love is as tangible as myth. Pleasure a luxury
for daffodils that nod over water, rapt
by January winds bending their bodies
closer to the source of reflection. Hold
your hand up/shade out the sun. Watch
the birds dart toward some distance
unreachable even by trees. All things will
gather at the gate of ends eventually

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

LOL Oh how you get to the crux of a thing! it has been 5 years since my death experience and still to this day I haven't fully learned how to live again. I have improved, I am less hesitant to buy green bananas:/ but as you so eloquently expressed love is indeed a foreign affair:( I have so much love in my heart that somedays I feel as if it would burst and ironically that is the problem dear sister! this is an exceptional poem from you and you have an exceptionally high bar to begin with

[Eilis]

Hi, Robert. I can definitely understand what you mean perfectly. Living between those two worlds complicates the actual living significantly. Thank you for your visit. I always enjoy hearing from you!

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

there is something moody and sombre about this piece. the sun is shining and flowers are blooming but our heroine is unable to appreciate it. preoccupied by doom and decay, she lies supine wondering what is there to do. and indeed, what is there to do? if one is not loved and incapable of loving, there is only a torturous march towards death.

[Eilis]

Hey, Ern. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this one. I think you’ve described it perfectly. As long as I can remember I struggle to feel joy or happiness in spite of all the things around that we learn to acknowledge as things that should fill us with a sense of life. Instead I feel a kind of alienation and like I’m in some bubble separate from everything else that is happening. I try to make new starts but end up the same way every time. I suppose this poem is an attempt to express some of that. Love is a factor and feeling unlovable makes it almost impossible to be able to embrace the idea. You are right, it is hard. Sorry you understand. Thanks for your always insightful comments.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i dont know what it is about me. other people seem to be better at identifying my abnormalities better than i can. i consciously try to make other people feel better, and i like it when people are kind to me, but i dont know if this is love. im not even sure it's empathy. i often feel sad or angry, and i dont know why. moments of unfetterred joy sometimes strike me - euphoria - it comes out of nowhere, and for seemingly no reason. but then it's gone.
when im working on something, or when im helping somebody, i think that's happiness. but im not sure. my whole life i feel i was carried along by its current, half-dreaming.

[Eilis]

You offer a complex thought process of the idea of happiness itself and it makes me think I maybe don’t even understand what I’m searching for. I do like the feeling of feeling helpful and useful. Something more nuanced for me to think about for sure. Perhaps i am mythologizing the concept of happiness for myself. You seem like a kind and generous person with your energy. I’m sure we always see ourselves differently than others see us. Thanks for sharing these thoughts.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

you're more than welcome. it's good to think about what you are searching for; what you really want. but kindness and charity are always a safe bet. you won't regret doing that.

[gram linski]

great poem Eilis, that sense of loneliness and despair, is very strong, that yearning for something, like the daffodils and the birds, the counting of missed meals and moons, as the days fall away like flower petals, did strike a chord with me, everything heading towards the gate of ends, , love that by the way, haha, entropy encroaching, the title is important , that learning to live as everything falls apart, is all we can do,

[Eilis]

Hey, Gram 😀 so glad to see your words on my page. It’s a tough place to understand but I know you do. Thanks for sharing that understanding. I guess there’s maybe a kind of comfort in the inevitability of endings because it also means the hard things will end. Thank you for reading my poetry. I always enjoy reading what you see.

[CD Campbell]

I loved this one. Seems loving a poem is easier than loving each other. We have this inevitable march of time across our minds and bodies that doesn't relent...then surprise!!! Hello loneliness, we meet again. (I put it a LOL in there but took it out. Maybe a frowny face?) Ok, late to the party, but that last line? Maybe not an arrow to the heart, maybe a clot that you know is making its way to the brain. It's poems like this that make me ashamed of my laziness.

[Eilis]

Hey, so good to see you. I saw on my timeline that you posted a poem but then saw it was one I’d already reviewed. I’m glad you like my poem, it’s a few years old actually but not much of the sentiment has changed. I seem to do clot on the way to the brain well, haha. I hope you feel inspired to write. Thanks for visiting, CD.

[CD Campbell]

Yeeeaaaahhhh. Nothing new. Took some off, put some back on. We're our worst critics. I was inspired about an hour ago, but I'm fading fast. : (

[Eilis]

Hopefully the spark will return.

[Gee]

I try not to think to much about what lies ahead instead I focus on my only child and her soon to be next phase of her life with her boyfriend in a house of their own...gutted:(
Hopefully when the time comes for me to slip away it will be quickly and peacefully on my own terms and not a prolonged dying that will leave the wrong kind of memories for those that I cherish and love.
Hope you are well Eilis and the big, fat, unkempt fella is good to you:))
Merry Xmas

[Eilis]

Merry Christmas, Gee. I hope you have a nice holiday with your family. I have a nineteen year old and sixteen year old so I can feel your pain. Watching them move into the next stage of life is tough. Thanks for your visit!

[Laz K.]

The temporal nature of life is really something that can drive one mad wondering about what's next once we "shuffled off this mortal coil."

"All things will
gather at the gate of ends eventually" a strangely comforting thought.

[Eilis]

Hi, Laz, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

[Twilight]

This single verse piece, brought to mind; a flowing of our own natural time line - in conjunction with aspects of nature's natural beauty. Fittingly, it starts amongst a mention of childishly turning down meals; and ends with a combination of unreachable objectives and how "all things will gather at the gate of ends eventually".

[Eilis]

Hi, yes, you are right. The cycles of our lives do follows these natural and inescapable courses. Different as each person’s life may be there are things we can look towards as inevitable or expected. Thanks for sharing your view on this!

[Twilight]

Merry Christmas, by the way..!

[Eilis]

Merry Christmas!

[Twilight]

To an extent, "learning to live" is an ongoing process; as you pick up new techniques along the way. And, opportunities to rediscover themselves, are often open to those - who yearn to keep trying; Ellis. At the heart of one's yearning, there must also be hope.

[Eilis]

That is very true, Julian. Thank you for that reminder.

[Beccy]

The days really do fall like flower petals; and by the the time we truly learn to live, to begin to get a glimmer of understanding about the force that drives and sustains us, we are I fear closer to the end rather than the beginning.

This is a truly insightful and reflective poem.

Becy.

[Eilis]

Hi, Beccy. So nice to see your words on my page. It is a shame when learn so many things late. I hope you are well and have a lovely holiday season. Thank you for your visit.

[Thomas W Case]

Perfection. Truly brilliant work.

[Eilis]

Thanks, Thomas

[Paul in the Buff]

Hearts to hold.

Sometimes we don't quite appreciate life until it is nearly taken from us, and we're given another chance.

In the larger picture, my fight has just begun, and this gives me encouragement to find more reasons to appreciate where I'm at.

[Eilis]

Hi, Paul. Thanks for sharing you understand this in some way. Life takes us by surprise quite often and we find we must learn to begin again. My best to you on your new journey. Thankfully we have poetry. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.