Dreamscape for the doomed

In dreams/dreams I find it again:
like a robin pelted with granite
pebbles, the plane tipping limp/

heavy. A sudden gasp escaping
as though the atmosphere has
learned to love then just as quickly

lost that which opened its heart.
And glinting, swordly an animal
takes over the earth. Leaving in

its wake only a puzzle of muddy
bones. A church of vultures gathering
on the shoulder of I-85. I don't know

what to tell you about this. There
are miles of straight-faces meeting
me in the nebula of falling night. And

I have burnt my wire to the sun.

Reviews

[SkinlessFrank]

When I was a child my grandmother witnessed a passenger jet going down over New York City. Just the thought of that disaster has stuck with me to this day, not the plane crash itself, but the thought of what must have been going through her mind in seeing such a mass scene of death and devastation. Your poem reminds me of this. When faced with human destruction on a scale we can’t fathom, it seems our minds turn to the kind of surreal imagery you describe here. It’s as though we go into dreaming mode because our conscious selves can make no sense of what we are seeing. The church or vultures and muddy bones are dreamlike to me. Sometimes I wonder if this is a form of self-protection.

[Eilis]

Hi, thank you for sharing how you related to this. That is an horrific scene to witness. That must have haunted her as well. I can recall witnessing the aftermath of car accidents with injured people wandering the scene or seeing covered bodies and feeling filled with terror and dread for weeks or years. The way the mind responds to stress and danger is difficult to process on a conscious level. Living with PTSD i have experienced this maze of moving between past, present, and fear of the future in this constant unconscious loop and I think that plays out in dreams. For me it does at least. I suppose that writing this was partially a way of trying to understand that. The sense of separation from reality but still being in it and not understanding how to communicate that. I think it’s definitely self-protection as you say. The mind’s primary job of protecting our lives becomes some incomprehensible game of trying to trick us into believing we are safe. It’s fascinating. Thanks for your visit.

[Pryde Foltz]

Your imagery is gripping to say the least and those last few lines ... that is a phrase that has me returning. A powerful and gripping write, Eilis.

[Eilis]

Thank you for your kind words, Pryde. I appreciate you reading!

[Twilight]

You have "burnt" your wire, to the sun. As foolish as Icarus, who flew too close to the sun; bourne by his wings.?

As is the way with dreams, connections can be so utterly bizarre. And, don't always make sense; even within that internal logic of a dream.

Animals often feature in your poems, and this one is evidently no exception. It is true also, that our brains use metaphors in dreams; as an expression of emotional experiences in our waking lives. Even in hindsight, people often fail to understand their dreams; or forget them upon awakening.

That "church of vultures" could be interpreted, as representing onlookers; gazing salaciously upon that "puzzle of muddy bones"? Not dissimilar, from when a hawkish crowd gather around a traffic accident scene.?

This borders on the surreal, and caught my interest for review. Thanks for sharing.

[Eilis]

Thanks, Julian, for taking the time to delve into the poem throughly. This is based on a recurring dream I had and the airplane falling from the sky was always frightening and apocalyptic and what followed did sort of build on that idea. In my dreams there may be a lot of people around but never anyone I can speak to so there is that sense of having lost the ability to communicate. The poem was my attempt to convey these dark landscapes of my dreams and try to dispel a bit of the intensity at the time. I’ve enjoyed reading how it feels very authentically dream like to people reading. Thanks for your feedback, it is appreciated.

[Twilight]

By "what followed", it almost goes without saying; that you mean the horrors of planes falling on 9/11.? We should remember too, that they did not "fall"; so to speak. Those planes were steered and weaponised. I have read before, that a number of people seemed to have some foresight about that tragic day; including some who changed their travel plans accordingly etc. Even so, every dream is unique to the dreamer. Even when superficially similar to the dreams of another, causes of one's emotions behind it; will still differ.

[Eilis]

It wasn’t about 9/11, no. It was standing under a plane that was flying over and it just plunging slowly towards me. My dreams are mostly nightmarish and surreal. I have read about those people as well. I’ve had those foresight moments myself in different circumstances. It is a strange feeling to escape something that you decided not to do.

[Joli Dy]

Breath-taking writing! The atmosphere's breakneck love, robins pelted with gravel, "swordly".

And then you give us: "miles of straight-faces meeting
me in the nebula of falling night. And
I have burnt my wire to the sun."

You write like an angel. I am not worthy.

[Eilis]

Hi, Joli, thanks so much! You are very kind. It is high praise coming from a writer of your talent.

[Robert Trakofler]

I feel doomed now but I would rather leave my corpse for the vultures than put it in a pine box:/ not sure what the catharsis was for this write but it sure evokes a lot of emotions

[Eilis]

Your vision suits the poem scape very well. This was based on a recurring dream I had a few years back. That seems to be where my psyche works things out. Thanks for your visit, Robert.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

amazing work, the use of forward slash in dreams/dreams was very effective.
A church of vultures gathering
on the shoulder of I-85.
... and...
miles of straight-faces meeting
me in the nebula of falling night
...incredible lines.
this subtle exploration of death, specifically sudden and violent deaths gave me shivers but it was framed in such a lyrical composition that it evoked the sublime. part doom and part dreamscape, this was a very effective work.

[Eilis]

Hi, Ern. Thanks for your kind comment. The remnants of the dream are still vivid. It was an attempt to capture/make sense of a particular dream. Glad it felt impactful in the reading. I appreciate your reading.

[Lisasview]

Ah dreams ... well, they can be good or bad right.
This felt a bit dark but that is good...and being able to write out our bad dreams makes our day better...
I really enjoyed each and every word...
Your usage of words is so involving... one can not help but to get involved and look for what the true answer might actually be..

Lisa

[Eilis]

Thanks so much, Lisa. Sorry for the late reply.

[Lisasview]

Yes, a year goes by and it feels like a minute!!
Glad you read my review and my thoughts,
read moreYes, a year goes by and it feels like a minute!!
Glad you read my review and my thoughts,
Lisa

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Dear, Elis, wishing you a great evening,
very visual, the gratification of pelting robin,
the voltures, feeding,
the strength of your burning by the sun to awake,
Love it! Beautiful depiction, honey, great write!
----1809 Black Plague December

[Eilis]

Thank you so much!

[1809 Black Plague December]

You are most welcome dear, :P

[slfisher89]

wonderful imagery, captures impending dread perfectly

[Eilis]

Thank you for your kind words!

[Casey Truax]

At last a poem that is truly dreamlike, uncanny and haunting no matter how much you tell yourself "it doesn't make sense." The slashes and enjambment contribute to that glitchy, unnerving feeling.

[Eilis]

Hi, Casey. Thanks for noticing and commenting on the format. That is always an important aspect of the poem for me and I do try to create tension or emotion in that way. Thank you for your appreciation of this one.