Auspice

nothing will be enough. The sea will never take you back. -Shara McCallum

Night is a cousin of the sea. In it I swim

past the old. In it the bones of day fail,  

I recognize. In it I seek something thicker 

than water to glom onto. Water is thin like 

moon beam, water is clinging like spirit. 

Water is sometimes more than water and 

sometimes the only thing wished for. 

But I do not have choice. I can not

crawl back to water. Primordial and 

all that. I am not. Nor am I the will 

of Darwin charting a way backwards

on a clipper. My eyes are not fixed

on a foreign horizon where stones rise 

like giant lumps of coal and make the heart

feel like every step closer is a supplement 

to exile. A desire to live as the sea, and see 

the body lift with a rookery of albatross 

dotting the far-sky like ashes of burning maps

Reviews

[LJW]

Now this is a mind blowingly unique piece of writing.

I seriously have to take a break and think about even what to say in a review. It is that good.

If I do not come back it is because I forgot.
I hope to remember to send you a friend request.

[Eilis]

Hi, LJW, I’m so glad you connected with the poem. Thanks for reading and taking the time to say how it made you feel.

[LJW]

I came back as promised.
Beyond the good writing, it's the feeling in this coupled with the fantastic imagery that got me. Life, how we experience it, shorelines and tides and rookeries if albatross.
Love this so much.

[LJW]

...and burning maps!

[Eilis]

Thanks so much, LJW!

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

if i ever come back, i hope i am a beetle or something like that. being human again is something i dont think could do. while there are certain joys there was just too much of the negative. our complex brains, a result of millions of years of evolution only exists to torment us... so it seems sometimes. this longing for simplicity, and the vivid view of the sea - always a calming sight - is so rich in emotion.
and your style is as always stellar. the first line... amazing. and i love the word glom and rookery.
there is so much to take away from this poem. there is soul-searching, a desire to be freed from suffering, imagery of nature, and a persona who is complex and intriguing (who reminds me of Virginia Woolf). i am very glad i came across this one, and im always anticipating reading your works.

[Eilis]

Hi, Ern. Thanks for such a thoughtful comment. I appreciate reading how you see the poems, I learn a lot about my poems by reading how people see them. Sometimes I’m not entirely sure what they mean to me until I start thinking about them through this process of sharing. I agree with you about the pain of being human. I feel like my brain is not my own much of the time and the word torment definitely applies. Thanks for sharing your point of view.

[Joli Dy]

"The bones of day" And "a rookery of albatross"
I want to sink into your words and live there a while. Your imagery is a treasure to discover.

[Eilis]

Hi, Joli. I love birds. Bird imagery is probably overused in my poetry but I always return to them as a point of reference. Thank you for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed.

[SkinlessFrank]

Perhaps what haunts us as humans it is the awareness we are and always will be perpetually lost. This reminds me that life arose in the sea without purpose and just keeps going on and on, much like our own small lives seemingly do with only the vague hint of purpose. The image of ashes of burning maps, because there is no map for us, is to me a kind of relief. How nice it would be to be set free and float into the sky and star-ward.

[Eilis]

Bring set free would be a blessing indeed. It’s strange the impediments we have created for ourselves when other life on earth does seem free. But our desire for comfort drives us ever forward. Freedom, I suppose, can in reality be uncomfortable. Those are ideas I am beginning to understand more. Thanks, as always, for reading.

[CD Campbell]

You can never go home again. Thomas Wolfe? Yeah, think so. Also remember the sentiment when i read Steinbecks Travels with Charley. I would say this would be on a grander scale, primordial and all that. But I think I get it. To climb back into that ancient beginning without fear or love or pain really. It's a nice thought, but on stanza 5, it's get laid out that we know too much and can never go back. The Pandora box of emotion is open. It's all we know now. All we can do is move forward with memory and decay at our backs and smile with each open door.

Bomb a*s work. See, I can sound hip.

God damn beautiful black visions that swallow you whole in the beginning, then belch you out into a an albatross laden sky where the imagery breaks your back on some unforgiving waterlogged spikes of stone. Jealous.

[Eilis]

I haven’t read this one in ages. Glad I can make you jealous, haha. There is definitely a darkness to this that I can feel reading it now. The thirst for freedom and realization it is not meant for me. Or something like that. Being a rock person. Your comments always enlighten me. I do appreciate that so much. I do love what you say about not being able to go back. It feels very true to me as I read this again after the emotional distance that has developed in me regarding the poem. It is a different me that I can never meet again. Thank you, CD.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and yet we are over 70 percent made up of water ourselves.
the very thing we cannot go back to and yet we are.
damn, i love the last line, Eilis..."ashes of burning maps"
when fire finally overcomes the water that usually puts it out.
you are so good,
j.

[Eilis]

Thank you, Jacob. You’re very kind. Everything seems to be about paradox or dichotomy in my poems lately. I appreciate the light you shed on that here. Thanks for reading!

[Einstein Noodle]

great title! power packed word isn't it?! ;) i especially like the first 3 couplets .. "....Water is thin like moon beam..." and "....water is clinging like spirit..." very fine stuff says i! Darwin's chart springs instantly to mind .. i would never have looked at it with going backwards in mind ... but isn't that what the prophets and seers seem to echo ... reminds me of the end of "2001 a Space Odyssey" .. i feel the dichotomy of desire vs. our inability to be worthy ... the Spirit unattainable through works ... "...every step closer is a supplement to exile." .. so glad i read this among the first for the day for me ... really sets me thinking ... trying to tune body, mind and spirit along the same axis ;}
E.

[Eilis]

Good morning, E. Thank you for this lovely review. Another weird one for me, but you seem to tune into it, so I appreciate that you see the spirit of the thing in there.

Auspice is a great word! Thanks for your vote of confidence on the title. That is often the weakest part of my poetry.

And thanks for reading. I always appreciate your perceptive reviews.

[Einstein Noodle]

of course Eilis! i like this sort of theme ... Happy New Year to ya .. and those around you!

[Eilis]

Happy New Year to you and yours, E. All the best!