Lean in: hear the raw singing

Can the river be faulted. It is just
doing its thing and you step in. If

you didn’t see the rapids running,
(they are not horses so don’t even

say it, say the bare thing: rapids)
if you don’t see the rapids coming

to snatch the roots from under
your ankles, you aren’t really

watching, are you. Or maybe
you are, but that blue thing

that has always been dormant
in your eyes sees its source &

can’t arrest the urge to wade
among it. To absorb the prickly

sentience of roaring water.
To understand that four letter

word you’ve so often seen written
but never quite understood. Life.

Is a series of waterways and sheers.
A long medieval road that might

have once been a river. Everyone
is vulnerable to the water’s leanings,

right. To the sudden onrush inherent
with heavy rain. Some just have roots

that thrive on being pulled among pools
where breath is not free. You should know

this and be ready to drown if you choose
to follow. Vulnerability is a murder

of crows. From a distance a stranger
hears bird calls break the steady silence

of a predawn atmosphere. The birds
within you caw at separate heights &

expose your presence among red
leaves and stones. Calling the waiting

hunter to grab each bird by the neck
& snuff the anthem. Inhume the dark

clamber in native dirt. Where it can
at once be displaced by the coming

law and force of the river

Author's Note

Addiction has many faces, and hunters searching every face. This is not meant as an indictment of the addicted, more an exploration of vulnerability

Reviews

[SkinlessFrank]

This makes me think back to two adolescent friends who sadly overdosed. You are correct. It could have just as easily been you or I or your best friend. That’s the odd thing about addiction as you make clear within this piece. We are all in the river and we all know that we are. We know about the rapids and how we can lose our footing. And I wonder just how many have stumbled intentionally, or perhaps out or simple curiosity or just knowing carelessness.

Yet another part of me though sees this poem not as an ode to addiction, but rather as a cautionary tale about the ensnaring weedy vines that would entangled us were we to let go and give up on living.

[Eilis]

I think some are more susceptible than others. Circumstance can be a vicious beast. I did write this for a few people who I knew to be struggling at the time. It feel very raw to me then watching the ease in and the inability to stop the water from pulling deeper. I try to always be mindful that it could be me at any time if I lost my grip on whatever it is that keeps me sober.

Thanks for your readings and engagement with my poems. I do appreciate your perspective.

[Matthew Daalling]

"A long medieval road that might have once been a river." This line reallhy stood out to me.

[Scott Kris]

The music is delightful here.
Thank you for adding your voice to my day.

[Eilis]

Thank you for the kind comment.

[red93]

Really Excellent and I hear a fully formed Poetic Voice throughout this Piece. So many stand-out lines. Well done ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Eilis]

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed the poem. I look forward to visiting your page soon.

[Chris Shaw]

'Vulnerability is a murder of crows' such a powerful line Eilis.
I have just written a poem about vulnerability and the effects of vultures on the vulnerable. Not yet posted. I have a dear one who is vulnerable to many through her life choices.This poem written in couplets with it's references to rivers, beautiful for paddling in at the edges deadly once you are out of your depth remind me of how some people just can't help themselves. They wade in willingly when the dangers are there and they just keep going. I have known many who have drowned. Standing on the banks of the river witnessing it all is sheer hell and yet the answers lie elsewhere.


Chris

[Eilis]

Hi, Chris. Yes, I do understand what you mean. It’s been the kind of thing I’ve watched loved ones do my whole life and no amount of reason ever eases my mind. I want to protect people but one of the hardest lessons we learn as humans seems to be that we can’t stop people from hurting themselves no matter how we try to intervene. Free will can lead to a lot of pain. Thank you for your always thoughtful comments. I’m sorry you understand this, but grateful you have shared your experience.

[Chris Shaw]

Always good Eilis to pay you a visit.

[Ranger Kessel]

It can be incredibly difficult to make ourselves vulnerable. I am proud of you for this. Nice write. Thanks for sharing

[Eilis]

What a kind and sympathetic comment. Thank you for sharing that, Ranger.

[CD Campbell]

I've thought of an alternate title to this. Life can be s****y: Don't step into the alligators waters. He will eat you. Eh, that's not very good. You know, I kid when faced with an emotional bubble such as this. I'm a sometimes scared little boy and run away from the truth when I know that I can. But to face it, it's nightmarish in the bones of it. This poem of yours pulled me under, as it should.

You talk of wild rivers, addiction, life, and being vulnerable. The river that some are able to see as being dangerous and avoidable, is the same river that some see as a challenge and experience, as others see as an unavoidable end and praise it's drowning waters. By God, we see so much sadness! Pushed into river by it. Held there by roots of soft satin. Even though I know my hunter, how long will it be before I'm cornered? Can I forever avoid him? I'm afraid not.

This thing of yours is a complex beast, but I think the gist of it has made it's mark on every reader. It's beautiful poem in it's language and execution, it's as beautiful as the sun would be coming up over the bayou. I think that's where we need to be careful of the alligator lurking below. Gee Don, can you not bum me out today? LOL. When are we going to do that collaboration on the Unicorn poem?

[Eilis]

Was there a unicorn poem collab deadline I missed? Ah s**t, haha, I must have forgotten to add that to my calendar. I do have loads of unicorn poetry ideas, haha.

Thanks for your thoughtful reading of this poem, CD. I was trying to remember the moment in time where I wrote it. The brother I was thinking of when I wrote has since chosen homelessness as a means of staying in touch with an opioid habit. I’ve been standing by the river a lot watching people I care for be swept away. I don’t always understand the drivers but I do know the river is mighty powerful. Life is confusing. Thank you for your always honest responses. I appreciate your time and thoughts.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

many blame life for their casualties and missteps...but the truth is that river is one we decide to step into ...and often without thinking...we get ourselves in trouble....life does not do it to us.
Can't always blame fate...in fact, maybe not at all.
such a thoughtful write,
j.

[Eilis]

Thank you, Jacob. Yes, we do have to take the step. Sometimes there’s a little shove or two from behind. Mysterious things about life. Appreciate your take on this. You always seem to point out something I hadn’t seen. Thank you again.

[kentuck14]

As I believe man is a fallen being, addiction is a part of our being . . . It is the clamoring for something we lost back in the garden. Your poem is brave for exposing the roots of addition no matter what it may be.
Often it isn't drugs and alcohol, but anything that stands in as a substitute for real joy.
T

[Eilis]

Yes, that was my feeling, Tom. Addiction doesn’t have to be a substance, it can be anything that causes a reliance. Thanks for reading. Always appreciated!

[Beccy]

The ebb and flow and the current of life writ large. Some simply ebb and flow, utilising the energy to their own bland advantage, even if they don't fully understand the how or the why, (blessed are they that cannot see.) Others allow the undertow of the current to absorb and drown them; but by different degrees and in different ways, we are all vulnerable, especially to pervasive outside influence.

Aside from the many, many, different ways we respond to such influences; I think in a way, it's the human drive and spirit calling. Move forward no matter, for with no risk, comes no gain, thrilling to that little frisson of danger, even though we know it is foolish and wrong, and which often becomes a siren call impossible to ignore.

This is a deep poem and yet still only scratches the surface of what lies within us all; and I suppose that's as much as we can hope for really, as life, both temporal and spiritual, is such a complex equation.

Beccy.

[Eilis]

Thank you for this in depth comment, Beccy. I love your idea that blessed are they that cannot see. And you have so much wisdom to share here, I appreciate that.

You’re right we are all vulnerable. It seems to be woven into the very nature of existence. I guess I’m trying to explore the idea of an emotional or psychological vulnerability that leaves some unduly open to difficulties. I have an adopted brother who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and he’s struggled his whole life. Somedays it feels like he never had a chance no matter what we did for him.

I love all you had to say on this. It’s really helpful to read all these things and see what every one else sees as I’m still figuring it out myself.

Thanks for your time and thoughts. I hope you have a lovely Christmas with your family!