"A world so often defined by hands held up to the sky", ends this emotional piece upon a poignant note. It brought to mind, how modern societies include many people within them; who simply raise their hands - yearning pathetically for pity or handouts from those who are superior.? Rather than, doing all that they can; to better themselves..?
Of course, in the so called Third World; many people have real everyday struggles. Sometimes, even for basics like bread. But, "man cannot live on bread alone". And, in our so called western societies, excuses for handouts rather than the rewards of hard honest toil; are sometimes more commonly accepted - than is healthy for the greater good.?
But, I have digressed, and your closing lines; may well be expressing an entirely different viewpoint? Of course, only the writer knows for sure.
Overall, the verses reek with a turmoil of worried inner thoughts. Posing questions, and raising a myriad of different concerns.
It also rings with sheer angst, and feelings of uncertainty.
"As fire consuming an empty house", even fire has a role in nature. Once burnt out, a fire leaves natural lit space; where sunlight can reach down - unhindered by what has now been burnt away. And, seeds then have opportunity to emerge, develop and grow; once sufficiently moist from dew and rainfall...
Hi, Julian. Thanks again for a thoughtful reading of the poem. The hands held up to the sky is in re.. read moreHi, Julian. Thanks again for a thoughtful reading of the poem. The hands held up to the sky is in reference to a sense of resignation and also a plea for something elusive and indefinable. Suffering from mental illness is difficult internally but there is also the external pressure from others who think there are simple fixes or that the sufferer is the problem. The poem is playing with those ideas and just a sense of being lost. It’s more a personal one than a social commentary. I tend to search for images that epitomize the feeling I am having and try to build on that. Fire consuming an empty house is an example of that but you are right about the symbolism of fire. Those connections are also important. I like images and ideas that can support multiple connotations. Thanks for your detailed feedback.
2 Weeks Ago
Yes, a number of my fellow writers on here; use metaphors or symbols in ways which have unique meani.. read moreYes, a number of my fellow writers on here; use metaphors or symbols in ways which have unique meanings for themselves. Unlike yourself, a few fail to acknowledge this; and even admonished readers who fail to understand. When in reality, if a uniquely personalised meaning has been attributed by a writer; she should never expect it to be accurately understood by others. Especially, when one happens to be unusually obscure by its nature for whatever reason.
2 Weeks Ago
Furthermore, clarity is the basis of effective communication; not obscurity. Indeed, possibly a fact.. read moreFurthermore, clarity is the basis of effective communication; not obscurity. Indeed, possibly a factor behind the high rate at which countries in so many parts of the world; have chosen to adopt english as a first or second language? And, behind its proliferation as a language deemed teaching in the schools of so many countries; where it has never been a native language? But, I have digressed. And, with poetry; the contexts can be different. So that, writers are thus able to experiment; and utilise self-expression as they see fit.
"A world so often defined by hands held up to the sky", ends this emotional piece upon a poignant note. It brought to mind, how modern societies include many people within them; who simply raise their hands - yearning pathetically for pity or handouts from those who are superior.? Rather than, doing all that they can; to better themselves..?
Of course, in the so called Third World; many people have real everyday struggles. Sometimes, even for basics like bread. But, "man cannot live on bread alone". And, in our so called western societies, excuses for handouts rather than the rewards of hard honest toil; are sometimes more commonly accepted - than is healthy for the greater good.?
But, I have digressed, and your closing lines; may well be expressing an entirely different viewpoint? Of course, only the writer knows for sure.
Overall, the verses reek with a turmoil of worried inner thoughts. Posing questions, and raising a myriad of different concerns.
It also rings with sheer angst, and feelings of uncertainty.
"As fire consuming an empty house", even fire has a role in nature. Once burnt out, a fire leaves natural lit space; where sunlight can reach down - unhindered by what has now been burnt away. And, seeds then have opportunity to emerge, develop and grow; once sufficiently moist from dew and rainfall...
Hi, Julian. Thanks again for a thoughtful reading of the poem. The hands held up to the sky is in re.. read moreHi, Julian. Thanks again for a thoughtful reading of the poem. The hands held up to the sky is in reference to a sense of resignation and also a plea for something elusive and indefinable. Suffering from mental illness is difficult internally but there is also the external pressure from others who think there are simple fixes or that the sufferer is the problem. The poem is playing with those ideas and just a sense of being lost. It’s more a personal one than a social commentary. I tend to search for images that epitomize the feeling I am having and try to build on that. Fire consuming an empty house is an example of that but you are right about the symbolism of fire. Those connections are also important. I like images and ideas that can support multiple connotations. Thanks for your detailed feedback.
2 Weeks Ago
Yes, a number of my fellow writers on here; use metaphors or symbols in ways which have unique meani.. read moreYes, a number of my fellow writers on here; use metaphors or symbols in ways which have unique meanings for themselves. Unlike yourself, a few fail to acknowledge this; and even admonished readers who fail to understand. When in reality, if a uniquely personalised meaning has been attributed by a writer; she should never expect it to be accurately understood by others. Especially, when one happens to be unusually obscure by its nature for whatever reason.
2 Weeks Ago
Furthermore, clarity is the basis of effective communication; not obscurity. Indeed, possibly a fact.. read moreFurthermore, clarity is the basis of effective communication; not obscurity. Indeed, possibly a factor behind the high rate at which countries in so many parts of the world; have chosen to adopt english as a first or second language? And, behind its proliferation as a language deemed teaching in the schools of so many countries; where it has never been a native language? But, I have digressed. And, with poetry; the contexts can be different. So that, writers are thus able to experiment; and utilise self-expression as they see fit.
a very thought provoking work. exploring the existential dread and uncertainty of our generation, but treated with great subtlety. the words flow like a calm river that bends unexpectedly, giving occasional jolts of anxiety. this feeling of not belonging anywhere and not being a part of our own history which only leads to the question 'then why am i here?' but you hint at the answer towards the end. two trees giving each other shelter. while most of the world might ignore us, having just one person who cares for you can bring you the feeling of belonging somewhere. somewhat discomforting, but a finely penned verse.
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Month Ago
Hi, Erb, thanks for your insightful review of this poem. It is true that one person who understands .. read moreHi, Erb, thanks for your insightful review of this poem. It is true that one person who understands us can lend life a bit of the meaning we seek. Our greatest power is to genuinely care for and respect others I think. I found your thoughts very interesting. Thank you for visiting.
1 Month Ago
Sorry, typing on my phone and it autocorrected your name. Thanks, Ern.
So, your question is "Why do I find so much
solace in the way inanimate things dance,
covering the morning landscape?
Because there is something in us that worships beauty... It is just a human thing we do.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
I think there are many questions in the poem. The explicit one is maybe the foil, I’m not sure. Be.. read moreI think there are many questions in the poem. The explicit one is maybe the foil, I’m not sure. Beauty is sometimes the only available savior. Thanks for your interesting comments, Vol.
This is a comforting piece. I identify with the references to 'solace' and 'mania' and 'unanswerable questions' resonates pretty heavily right now after spending a stretch staring at the wall and imagining what if and what could of been's. This is great
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi, Davey. I’m glad you could find a place of understanding in the poem. If something I write reso.. read moreHi, Davey. I’m glad you could find a place of understanding in the poem. If something I write resonates for someone I’m always happy to know that. Good luck with your own questions. I do understand those challenges. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
pretty brilliant says i! plaintive, heartfelt sadness ... our cries to heaven .. perhaps if we turned in greater numbers to prayer and thanksgiving .. changing our solicitous, immoral theatre, music and press ... giving that space up for the Loving Creator to fill ... with divine love .. it seems in my 73 yrs. there have not been such dark times .. i fear the worst is yet to come ... now Russia blocks food to not just Ukraine; but the whole world. They account for 30% of the wheat ... the immediate area especially being impacted ... here in America less than 30% of our crops are planted compared to the 80% norm for this time of year .. why ... fertilizer and fuel prices are exorbitant ... our own farmers can not afford to plant their crops ........................... your poem hits home .. in many ways .. love the use of trees and leaves .. made me take a think or two ... on a lighter side .. black and white are colors too! ;)
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi, E. Thank you for the thoughtful reading of my poem. It is interesting to see what everyone sees .. read moreHi, E. Thank you for the thoughtful reading of my poem. It is interesting to see what everyone sees here. It is interesting how emotion can transfer universally. Thanks for your visit.
2 Years Ago
yes .. a wondrous thing about creative writing .. it can be all things to all people :)
I've often mulled over why there are those who feel centred on darkness. Is it fair to call them gloomy souls, or are they the ones who have it right. Perhaps once you are in that place, only then can you look out at the world calmly and see a special kind of beauty, like the two trees you mention. I love this piece.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi, thank you very much. You do always tend to see the beauty through the veil of darkness. There ar.. read moreHi, thank you very much. You do always tend to see the beauty through the veil of darkness. There are so many questions that seem unanswerable. Thank you for reading.
not just the trees, but so much of the world needs shelter from the savagery.
there are many empty houses now...in one part of the world...strange how a poem written 3 years ago fits exactly the situation in a certain country right now.
that's universality...that is giving us "wallpaper of unanswerable questions"---
How the heck did I miss all these pieces the first time around.
glad I have finally found them.
thanks for your work....it inspires me greatly.
j.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hey, Jacob. I’ve missed so much on the site at times. I’m glad you found your way here eventuall.. read moreHey, Jacob. I’ve missed so much on the site at times. I’m glad you found your way here eventually. Your comments are always appreciated.
Sometimes I am amazed how most people are able to move through the quagmire of dark and shadow to focus on a small splash of color in the distance. It's as if God himself blinded some to the darkness around them, while others are bobbing in it and must learn to swim in it's current. There's challenge and purpose in it, I guess. I guess? Well Eilis, the overwhelming flash of white lightning rarely comes to the call of the blinded. May they forever stay focused on the color in the distance.
Even though I think you poem has a number of great lines and is tight in its scheme, I think it really shines in the way that you are able to bare your soul and give us a small glimpse of you without sounding sophomoric or simple minded. It's not confessional drivel, but a pondering of the blackness that surrounds us. The two trees grown together is a simple hope. It's a hope one can believe in if only two entities could somehow hold back the growing darkening tide. Another good one.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
I’ve always envied people who can go through the world and miss the darkness. Mostly because I’v.. read moreI’ve always envied people who can go through the world and miss the darkness. Mostly because I’ve never understood how they could do it. I suppose the secret may be in finding some kind of balance where you’re able to accept that there is both light and dark and find some path that weaves between. Since they are both real. Those trees twining together are definitely a sense of hope for me. Sometimes it’s all I’ve got. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, CD. It’s always lovely to hear from you.
the wallpaper of unanswerable questions wraps itself around me, I am lost in the beauty and imagery, is there hope.lost in the hands held up to the sky, there is a sense of something dark within the empty house, the fire consuming all the feelings that remain, great poem, Eilis
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thanks, Gram. Dark light dark light dark light. I think I waffle back and forth between these two st.. read moreThanks, Gram. Dark light dark light dark light. I think I waffle back and forth between these two states. This poem does feel closest to the dark, but the two trees thing feels like an attempt to pull it back up, I think.
Always do enjoy your point of view. Glad you liked this one. Thanks for reading.
E,
I hear an inner conversation . . even maybe a small argument between the different particulars of the soul.Some wonderful images in this piece: "Wallpaper of unanswerable questions;" "fire consuming an empty house;" and the metaphor of the grown together trees . . . great!
T
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Yes, definitely an inner conversation. I suppose that is what most of my poetry is. It amazes me at .. read moreYes, definitely an inner conversation. I suppose that is what most of my poetry is. It amazes me at times that it has meaning to anyone else, but I am grateful that it does.
Thanks for your kind words on this, Tom. And just for taking the time to read. I appreciate it.