On first undressing the heart

A golden candelabra bleeds dull light 

across the back of a pianoforte. 

Two feet, clad in raven-colored leather, 

are ready to float above florid carpets, 

if just given rise on the cloud-folds 

of a gentleman’s linen cravat. If the birth 

of this love was a thing that could be 

defined through vision it would be 

something like eyes with tiny teeth. 

How does it go, hungry eyes?

As the gentleman lingers a distance 

from the pianoforte, he becomes the heat 

curling-off a panther’s back. The woman 

he watches, her fingers levitating 

across ivory keys (as aloof as the stars outside 

her window), does not feel the room shift 

with him. Or the heat rising. The walls 

around him crumbling to become 

a pile of heart-shaped leaves.

Author's Note

Written after watching that 1980 miniseries of Pride and Prejudice. I am a literature nerd and have read the book many times and written several papers about it, so it always manages to catch my imagination.

Reviews

[Beccy]

Predator and prey, but defined here in the most elegantly urbane fashion; much as in the enclosed world of Ms Austen.

I have read Pride and Prejudice more than once myself; and also very much enjoyed the 1995 TV adaption. Have never seen the 1980 mini series, but in my defense I was only 2 when it was first aired. :))

Beccy.

[Eilis]

I do love the way Austen poked fun at it all while also laying it quite bare. She managed to do it in a way that those who wish to be blissfully unaware can go on thinking her stories are just about love.

I was only 5 when the 1980 version came out, ha ha. I came across it on Netflix several years ago before I had ever read the book. And that was that. I fell in love with Austen. I actually think it’s the version that is most faithful to the characters the way she wrote them, but visually it’s a bit rough around the edges.

Thanks for seeing my vision in this, Beccy. Always enjoy your comments.

[barleygirl]

Ignorant about classical literature & I still love this poem, just for the way you convey a distinct scene of intrigue thru dramatic imagery. There's an excellent HBO movie about Liberace with the word "Candelabra" in the title, so I was envisioning his flamboyant scenario more than your Austen inklings. But what you wrote to Beccy (below) about Austen poking fun & laying it bare, while pretending it's just a garden variety love story -- this makes me want to explore Austen, a curiosity I've never had before! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Eilis]

The great thing about Austen is that she was a kind of social satirist, but also knew how to connect with readers in a simpler way, so it’s for the reader to take what they want from the story. I appreciate her wit, but it’s understated. Which is why I think she’s viewed as a romantic novelist in our times.

My aunt was a huge Liberace fan, so I have a crisp picture of him in my mind. Candelabra is definitely a word I associate with him too.

Thanks for digging in to this one, Margie. It’s not my finest poetic hour, but it makes me laugh when I think about it.

Always appreciate your visits.

[barleygirl]

OK . . . I just put Pride & Prejudice on my book list . . .

[Eilis]

Excellent, I’d love to know what you think of it once you’ve read it.

[kentuck14]

There is a feeling of old romantic tales in this piece. I believe this comes from a scene in the book/series. Even I--- not much of a romantic--- can admire the genus of Austin. My daughters must have read her books many times over.
T

[Eilis]

I was late at arriving to Austen. I didn’t read much of anything until I started college at almost thirty, and so I feel like I’m on a child’s journey of discovery with every new story.

I’m no romantic myself, but sometimes the ideas come to me anyway. Haha. Though few and far between.

Thanks for all of your comments. I do enjoy your perspective.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

been a long time for me since i had seen the movie...
but what this captures for me is how her playing awakens his senses, he is stalking her, watching her fingers move over the ivories...feeling the song is for him...and yet she is totally unaware...and in her innocence is just creating melodies with her nimble fingers and creative mind.
j.

[Eilis]

Yes, you’ve caught it exactly, Jacob. He is such an important man in his own mind that he can’t conceive of any women not trying to impress or win him. But Lizzy humbles him.

I wish I could figure out how to post videos and I’d put up the scene to accompany the poem. Your review feels like you just watched the scene, though. Very perceptive.

Thanks for you time and great comments. Much appreciated.

[CD Campbell]

With the words "Hungry eyes" in italics, I'm hoping you're not referring to the Eric Carmen hit of the same name made popular by the movie Dirty Dancing? If so, I'm hoping I've won some secret Eilis poet points. Remember green stamps at the grocery store? Bring them back now!

Ok, now that I've gotten that bit of silliness out of my system, I can actually contribute something positive to the conversation. (I hope) So its easy for a woman to love Austen. Yes, she's an incredible author, she definitely doesnt need my egotistical vote on that front, but I think that a man has to have a light bulb moment to appreciate her. The scene from above is beautifully penned on how a woman sees a man coming into his desire for another. It's how a woman of intelligence wants to be desired. To be seen and loved by ability and soulful presence, which honestly today as yesterday does not usually happen. But if men could step back and try to see themselves as their hearts desire might, then maybe we wouldn't have so much divorce. That's only one angle though.

I know from the light bleeding golden candelabra to the heart shaped leaves in your last line , you have taken a scene from something I know not of and made it fascinating in your own language. There is a romantic vividness in this that would be hard to replicate by anyone, and the gut punch is that it is a poetic interpretation of a scene from a tv series based on a book. I like this very much. I think with the other two formats aside, this is the one that works for me.

[Eilis]

Excellent comment from you, CD. You get a whole book of grocery store stamps for catching my 80’s song reference, ha ha. I’ve also crossed out the grocery store name and written poetry star instead. Score.

I really enjoy your perspective on this. I guess it isn’t always easy for men and women to understand each other’s needs, but it’s not impossible. Marriage is definitely an exercise in coming to understand. Or, alternatively, deciding not to care and just letting things run their course. I like what you said about that here.

And, thanks for what you say in your final paragraph. I do hope the poem can stand on its own without my added context and I feel like you’re saying it’s got a life of its own. I appreciate that.

Always enjoy your visits. They make me see things in a fresh way. Thanks to you.

[CD Campbell]

Sweet. I'm going to save up for a new blender.

[Robert Trakofler]

I don't think I have read the book but I have a horrible memory:) but I have read this poem and it is lovely deliciously tempting and fraught with danger...yum I want to hear the piano play whatever the result be it what may! but then again I am the Bad Bunny:)

[Eilis]

Ha ha, it’s the eyes with teeth that have that affect, I think! Thanks, Robert. Mr Darcy does present as a bit of a dark horse at this moment in the story, so your response is great.

Always nice to read your take. Always an original vision, BB!

[Chris Shaw]

I am a huge fan of Jane Austen and watched the TV series back in the 80's. I can remember this scene so well. I love the way you refer to hungry eyes and eyes with teeth made me smile. You remember this scene brilliantly and recapture the moment for me in full colour and with the romance and stifled passion of that era. Thank you for that little nostalgic trip back to a favourite viewing. Miss Bennett and Mr D'Arcy, truly worth revisiting Eilis.

Chris

[Eilis]

I’m so glad you liked it, Chris. And that you know the series! I watched it again recently and I always enjoy it.

I was afraid the eyes with teeth might be too weird, but it was the image that kept coming into my head, ha ha. Sometimes you just gotta go with it.

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. Always glad to hear from you.

[Chris Shaw]

The eyes with teeth had a little bite to it. I think he would have loved to have a little nibble at her, don't you? Lol.

[Eilis]

Yes, ha ha, definitely!

[gram linski]

you old romantic, lol, reads like an Argentine Tango, all passion and kicks and flicks, eyes with tiny teeth, haha,

[Eilis]

Haha, I'm only a romantic on the page. I'm too practical and cynical in real life.

As evidenced by my eyes with tiny teeth, haha. I can't ever just let it be.