Allow me to introduce myself

Hi, I’m Emily.
25, Leo, professional Netflixer.
I enjoy short walks to my bed,
Memes about anxiety,
And turning my music up so f*****g loud I can’t think.

As cliché as it sounds, I consider myself a wallflower;
constantly feeling alone in a crowded room
But lord knows I don’t mind it that way.
When any attentions on me Instantly the awkwardness fumes up in my cheeks as if I pressed them directly to the sun,
Other times I am the sun.
Beaming rays of confidence and laughter that Id do so well at convincing you is genuine.
Youll gravitate to me out of curiosity but like the rest, you’ll be gone

I love thunderstorms. They’re kind of my thing.
Not everyone may agree but rainy days that people often see as gloomy are the days I feel most at peace.
Natural disasters help calm the storm beneath my chest,
I take exaggerated breaths and can feel my atrial fluttering slow and wash away like chalk on the sidewalk of my heart.

I am diiiirty.
And I mean that in every sense of the word.
The thing is I’ve got this bad habit confusing lust for love
And Ive yet to master how to wash the shame off of my loofa each time I allow you to use me or view me as less than.

It shouldn’t ever come as a surprise though.
We both knew you’d be finished with me as soon as you finished.
We both knew you only creeped your way back in so that you could creep your way back in, ME.
Then leave me here naked, my heart exposed. again.
My fault.

I’m often soft spoken when I should be screaming
I’m dramatic as f**k when I should shut up
You see, my confidence was plucked from the flower petals of “he loves me not”s.
My happiness is a rubrics cube I’ve still got one side left unsolved.
And most days I cry in my car for reasons I hardly f*****g understand.

But hi, my name’s Emily.
I use avocado like its Franks Red Hot,
I’ll see the “are you still watching” alert on Netflix 6 times in a row before deciding maybe it’s time to get out of bed,
I use unhealthy coping mechanisms like they’re going out of style,
And I’ll admit, I am not the most “put together” person.

But honestly though, who the f**k really is?