Fwd: Fwd: Dog is good

Second draft

What happens when the future runs out and you disappointed everyone?

 I tell myself I know how to accept failure 

because

 I've seen it too long

I've stood still paralyzed in the fear of being something greater and wrong

because 

I've let you down so many times before...caught in headlights, spotlights,

shudder to shadow them

but I'm older and wiser at least that's the youth in my talking

and yo start walking

down the street

moving forward at the speed

of the next day taking the pace of a breath in ellipses to now.

so tired of what they say but not quite with how

I'm taking it in gently and shaking it off

standing tall from this slouch deep in my desk

writing away typing on my chest

there are some things that you should know:

There are moments that come the moments that slow

time seeemed to stop but there wasn't enough time to go

and that's alright

done waiting anyway.

been patient

been kind

wasting my mind

my energy trying to win when that's not my fight

the thing is I knew what was right and what to do

thought I didn't but it's clear like the wooden rims

on some contact cases

hitting the shelves real soon

and then you take your luck

no more passing the bucket of slime

and the grime working courage up

and down the line

you're downing it all

drowning in a mall

of people you don't even like but

you love them anyway

because you choose who you're with at least you think so

the next day.

not letting go

and these tethers teeth on nothing to show

pulling through and you can't stop me

The hour glass is ticking

and it's just itching the gist of just

and punching his throat

because time ain't got me

no chum for a moat

it was word smithing

smothering how the glasses half full

and half none at all

no time for the stupid questions but looking at leaves

rustling with a wrestle

for life-trying to sort it all out

and getting out alive

and guts

screw you anyway

won't fall down again but if I do

at least I know how to get back up.

there's no aerosol vanilla scent

to tell your nose where ya been

acting nuts when you're just beans

and there isn't enough

food to go around the table.

knowing that breakfast is skippable in the morning

crescents for moons

lit up my fill in the stars at noon too,

take your pho and the angry texts

wringing hollow and sell it somewhere else

because

I still know how to read and know how you write

know your potential

get you further, I might

get gone because the feelings aren't visible

or tangibly accountable

tallying the responsibilities present

divvied up between the rage

should have had and an untamed cage

you'd laugh to think it's beige anyway.

There's no respect in noses when you can't smell

plugged up my ears so I know I can see

and my tongue can't tell

even though I squint

knowing what I see

my eyes linger and you think they're wasted on creepy botherings

well pho that too,

stare where I want and it won't be your face of wont

I won't and I know that I am a goddamn hero in the mirror

if I forgot my mask well sue me, that suit's for me.

put my blazer on ties at a time

laugh because

I choke on it's mind

it will fulfill the visions

didn't steal you

just didn't give in to my free agonizing sea of memories.

Tell the story anyway and this is how it was:

She is bright and new like I used to

be young and courageous horizons on gorgeous

ideas brimming over  overexcitement renewed

I'm not becoming unglued

this chew is tasting like chocolate sweet sweat

I'll see her again and I'll laugh again

it's nothing to pine for

the wood to the head

is not something to dine fleur

spritzing limes on my bed

spitting dimes at a podium

and the funds for linus start to make cents

where I was senseless the dog was my nose barking

like needles scattered on the floor

wondering what the hell was it all

meant to shore

So chin up kid

you suck and I'm taking my own advice

to listen to refine what's been going on

and taking it to mind

because it's mine

and I should listen to me on occasion

even if it isn't the same in two hours

or more often

because that's how I work

partly vocation

And you would say f**k it

f*****g me

over and feeling sick

when really the respect wasn't deserved

the artist reserve

the rites to all passages

welcome to day one

And it's coldly hollow like hell

doing what I can to help

because I know you care holding on breath pausing the air

It won't stop because that's how the lungs function

it's the art of living

No sacrificial regrets hanging there

whistle whilst thistling a thimble on a thursday

yeah you pronounced it love

the same conjunction