A folded note

The air is tinted with cricket

sonnets and leftover day-dust

and I am slightly tipsy, but

not too bad--my shoelaces

                   are still in bows.

 

We play the Vietnamese card

game, 13, under the moth-light

of dusk and my shorts are too loose

from replacing food with chamomile tea.

 

I’m a few shades from losing

my already lost sanity and I

don’t like this captain and coke

(I’m not a fan of pop so I really shouldn’t be surprised).

 

Tears are fickle things

and I want my lungs to eat

them so it rains inside

my voice.            And I want

 

to French kiss death!

 

I can’t remember who I

am or how to get to

where I left my name-tag.

 

My heart is a cake--please,

come feast upon it!

 

I’m sleepy but I suppose

napping would be rude

and the game’s not over yet.

 

Author's Note

Try this exercise: Take an old journal entry or letter and create a poem from it using the words and phrases. I found this old note I had written last summer and tucked in the back pocket of my moleskin.

Reviews

[Abhra]

I love the fact that the poem begins in a matter of fact' manner and gradually finds its way into the hidden recesses of the mind where thoughts often hide. The poem beautifully entwines reflections about the self with a sense of wounded pride. I loved the sense of disorientation in the poem. I think it makes it even more beautiful. A wonderful piece!

[eglantine]

Thank you very much Abhra :)

[Plotosaurus]

Your poem has a cryptic, intangible quality. You will lose a few readers but that is ok. You create some interesting images. Moleskin journals are great. Thanks for including the exercise. Best of luck with your writing and keep up the good work.

[Emily B]

wonderful

[Fréyjä Helv..]

This sounds fun... I'll try it as well... good read... :)

[dukovan]

This was really pleasant to read, it read much like a hand written letter, I can see the night with the easy swaying thoughts. I think ill try this and RR it to you.

[Whales]

This kinda sounds like my brain, like the whale of it is quaint. I find that it's quite understandable though.

[Celestial Witch Child]

I feel like if you regulated the length of the segments and removed the parenthesis it would improve the flow by leaps and bounds. Another amazing piece. I do believe I happen to be falling in love with your writing.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i like the randomness of this. and the loose grasp on reality. it's like the thoughts and pictures that float by in that place between wake and sleep.

[Distant horizons]

My heart is a cake--please,

come feast upon it!

Love it

[Paul R. Watson]

I enjoyed this...thats all i really know to say about this.

[Wild Willow Blue]

That's a very interesting way of writing. Very nice job.