What some of us have become

What some of us have become

A Poem by eglantine

I'm tired of all this twenty-first

century, egoistic rap-crap.  I want

to sip on an apple martini and tap my

foot to the grand swing of a 1950's

big brass band.  No gyrating,

'f**k-me' grinding, but playful

and genuine dancing--rhythmic

motion responding to that large

golden sound and smiling because

being spun, rolled out like a clarinet

trill, and then wrapped

back into hand-in-hand is so much

more flirtacious than plams on the

floor and butt straight up in the air.

© 2012 eglantine


Author's Note

eglantine
Just plopped that title there... prob going to change it cuz that one sucks.

My Review

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lol. you're much too young to be nostalgic for the good old days of swing. hell, that was even a little before my time and i'm old as dirt (old as rock anyway). but i do agree with you. we've lost all subtlety in recent years. society's not likely to turn around, but it's nice to know some of us do look back and find an appreciation for what we might have missed.
i have a sudden yen to listen to benny goodman's Sing Sing Sing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I do love those 1950's. Dance swing songs :) those times were good. Except that racism was high though :( great piece

Posted 12 Years Ago


You scored DINO on this one baby, ring-a-ding,ding, here my Mr. Dean Martin, just for you, here to sing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huKSm0tAvhs

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I had a neighbor, she had four awesome daughters..they would come over my apartment and raise hell..but anyway one day I was at her place and they are watching a hip hop video and my fav kid in the world, Breanna, was four at the time and she jumps up on the arm of the couch and tries to do that butt in the air dance like a foot from my head..I start cracking up..her mom is mortified and embarrassed and slaps her and knocks her off the arm of the couch..(she didn't like get hurt or anything, just to clarify)
so I guess the moral of the story is, that yes, compared to real music and real dancing it's a joke, but compared to being mimicked by a four year old it isn't one millionth as funny.
and btw, the title is perfect
and your poem is great..says just what it needs to say..like how 2/3 of the way in it catches its stride and works into the ending.
and you misspelled palms..I'm guessing you're not using Firefox as a browser, cause it underlines all misspellings in red, even in comments..you still have to check for grammar but it helps..(:

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I tend to agree with you. I have often thought that I was born in the wrong era. If I had my way I would ride a horse instead of driving a car, disregard the kindle, and write letter by hand using candle light to guide my eyes. I don't know how some of this new age rap passes for poetry and why it is so popular. However, I do have to say that some spoken word artists are really quite good.

How about something to do with rhythm for your title or dance, maybe both? I feel like those are large pieces of this poem. I hope that helps!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hahaha.
yeah i wish it was different, too. small things like dancing just encourages peoples' behavior.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Agreed. I personally like classic ballroom but big band sounds good right now. Great message with this one.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

good work ...i totally agree with u

Posted 12 Years Ago


lol. you're much too young to be nostalgic for the good old days of swing. hell, that was even a little before my time and i'm old as dirt (old as rock anyway). but i do agree with you. we've lost all subtlety in recent years. society's not likely to turn around, but it's nice to know some of us do look back and find an appreciation for what we might have missed.
i have a sudden yen to listen to benny goodman's Sing Sing Sing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 20, 2012
Last Updated on June 20, 2012

Author

eglantine
eglantine

Somewhere Someplace



About
I graduated with my B.A. in English (emphasis creative writing) My ultimate goal is to be the U.S. Poet Laureate and to be a college professor of poetry. I'm a wildflower with a poetic soul. I'm als.. more..

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