Experiement

If you don't mind, I'd like

to tuck the flame that cinders

your speech into the tight

crevice within a walnut.

 

If cracked, would it rear into

a lily of fire once it tasted

the same air we fall against?

 

I'd pluck and swallow it--let

the darkness burn away.

Reviews

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

it's weird, since this piece is short I'm reading it over and over
trying to imagine/attribute a meaning behind it
I'm normally too lazy to read something more than 2-3 times
I think it bred curiosity about the flame, at least for me
but possibly your belly is one of those balloons you mentioned
but yeah, this moves well, you used the syllables effectively to
accentuate the very visceral/intense imagery
loved this piece; it shows a lot of compassion and heart and skill
one of my fav pieces of yours by far

[Mark D]

I agree that this had to be read 2 or 3 times and it was a pleasure each time.

Somewhat abstract but beautiful and interesting. Very nice things to be.

Loved it

[eglantine]

thank ya :)

[Alicia Beavis]

This was so beautiful to read and wholly unique! Well, compared to everything that I've ever read it is.

It's so short but every single word is perfectly placed and is never wasted. Very nicely written piece you got here.

[Emily B]

words worth reading again and again

[I Shred This Cabbage]

ah how wonderful!

your strength, well to me anyway, is your ability to put words together that you would never expect. You seem to understand perfectly what will work.

[Emrys Realmskip]

I honestly love the way you write its so brilliant, like your not sticking to any specific style and i love how free it is :)

[joshua deathdealer]

This is such a powerful and bold piece. The imagery is mind blowing, considering the nature of this poem. I'm also impressed with the direction and emotion here. Amazing work.