Minutes within Midnight

The darkest lines are thought

this time of night.

 

The trees--the blinds

--the sidwalk, the streets

 

with all of their curtained

windows

     --they all know

 

light is not wanted here.

 

The dark moves at a metronome

pace, swings the wind

beneath the white-gold moon.

 

The leaves chatter so hard

they break from its jaw.

Reviews

[Alicia Beavis]

The last two stanzas were so beautifully crafted!

[cilla]

Indeed, "they do all know light is not wanted here". There is a bit of haunting ... almost melancholy ... in your lines. Quite beautiful and visual. It is as if we have all looked out at some time and seen this night ... your use of imagery is quite relatable. But it is the closing lines that snap us back from this moody dream.

Quite beautiful.

[Distant horizons]

This sounds like it should be whispered softly. Wonderfully structured.

[Patrick]

I took time to read over this one having looked at some other pieces - the imagery created by the last two lines is vivid.

[Hidden Happiness]

i really like this although im terrified at midnight....its like when the clock strikes 12, the Devil's gonna rise...really good:).

[J. J. Nightingale]

THE DARK OF MID-NIGHT .. I SEE MANY IMAGES HERE ..
A WORLD OF CURTAINED THOUGHT ..

NOT A SOUL TO BE FOUND .. I LIKE THIS .. JAZZY

[James Paulin]

Nice descriptive alternatives of the dark. So many try and yet never stray from the usual by much. You differ with fresh images.

[Chris]

So many "noseprints"... and not a footprint - not one. Damn.

The paired style flows well. The thoughts have a good tonal quality as spoken. As a critique you addressed the necessary checks before pressing publish and possibly afterwards as well - some flaws show up AFTER the work becomes visible.

As an opinion - mine, you've a good voice and a fair "presence". I didn't like the taste of the last line... but its your's not mine and thats ever where our differences should be. Your thoughts - I can and do appreciate them BECAUSE they aren't mine.