Once upon a someday

I want a French chateau
with a tower full of books
and a ladder high enough
to plant lilacs on the moon.

It must have a window-seat
where I can reconsider the light:
              its' heartbeat, its stare,

and understand that my teeth are gravestones
for all the words I'll never speak.

Please, I only wish to polish the greenhouse mirror
with my lilac breath as sunrise
collects like dew on our skin

Reviews

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

each stanza it brilliant...the first I think is more subtle, which sets the tone for the rest very nicely
each is so visceral yet serene
I think you've really outdone yourself here girl!
not my usual spazz review, but hey, I'll save that for next time!

[ChemicalMadness]

you create worlds with your phrases which somehow remind me of Dr. Suess...not that your rhyme or your content, perse is the thing....but your phrases I can see in a twisted Suess illustration....and I love it. i love your lilac-laden moon and your gravestone teeth....

thanks for steering me to this piece!

CM

[eglantine]

I can see where you are coming from lol Thank you :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This would be a lovely place to live and write...you have brought it to life with your words and imagery. Oh, how I woud love to have a tower of books with a ladder high enough to reach the moon--right now I have to settle for a bookshelf that I drag a chair over to in order to reach the top :)

It must have a window-seat
where I can reconsider the light: -- really lovely imagery, and evoked a great emotion.

also loved:

"...my teeth are gravestones/for all the words I'll never speak" -- this was strong and creatively intuitive.

Another great write.

[eglantine]

Thank you very much for reading

[Mark]

:) very nice e. I hope you find a ladder tall enough.

[eglantine]

Thank you! I do too

[joshua deathdealer]

I want one to. lol I like the final stanza.

[keyvan]

good one.........I like it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

elegant imagery in this...love "and understand my teeth are gravestones/ for all the words i'll never speak"


and my lilac breath as sunrise...my mother would love this poem...she is French...used to speak it fluently...

jacob

[eglantine]

Thank you Jacob

[Simon Welsh]

I love the penultimate couplet.

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this a lot, the big open image of the first verse, then the more restrained couplets and triplet, breath as sunrise is great. Excellent.

[K. Louis]

Ooo I want that too!
My teeth are gravestones for all the words i'll never speak-- nice line there.

[beautiful dreamer]

wow! this is amazing. as always i love your diction. if i really wanted to i could use it like that but...not in my kind of poems, they aren't profound like yours! "a ladder high enough to plant lilacs on the moon", collects like dew on our skin" beautiful imagery. your use of rhetoric is impeccable! i'm partially considering showing this to my AP lit teacher for analysis haha. great work as always eglantine

[eglantine]

hahaha your teacher would spit on it

[beautiful dreamer]

oh no no she would not, this is simply exquisite miss eggplant!

[eglantine]

haha, eggplant

[beautiful dreamer]

you'll always be eggplant :P