A farewell of sorts

I used to pick up only blue
feathers, but since you tore
my heart from the branch
I now collect all colors--
        I'm impatient
        to fly away
        from your reflection
shining in my memory's eye--
        you, who had thrown
        me to the red and blue
        lights--you, who had taught
        me to love stars for their being,
        (not their brightness).

You should have murdered me,
        tucked my breath beneath my own heartbeat.

I only desire wings,
       just one pair.
My legs are broken from jumping
into phantom arms.

I now know why the moon
remained quiet when I showed
her my heart:

       it was not the right shade
       of red for you to stay.

Reviews

[Jack...]

Eglantine, wow, heartbreaking. I could quote every line of this piece as my favorite. "Stars for their being, not there brightness", "it was the wrong shade of red for you to stay." This is as brilliant as any star and so very deep as the space which trembles behind it. You do know how to reach inside of another human being and rip the emotions from them and lay it in their hands. Very nice my friend.

[eglantine]

Thank you for your thoughts and for reading. I always appreciate it

[Rahul]

last few lines're awesome ;)
great job, Eagle" nicely penned 1oo/1oo ;)

[eglantine]

Thank you! :)

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine poem, with loads of examples of excellent poetic writing. I like the use of the second person, the direct address, and the broken leg imagery deserves to go viral, like too the colour motiv that supplies a kind of extended metaphor.Another great poem from a talented writer.

[eglantine]

Thank you as always Leslie

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is bittersweet at its best. Poetically, I think the colors really added to the depth of this one. Since you are a fellow English major and Master's pursuer (like me), I know you must know the significance of the color "red" (i.e. the red shoes). Upon reading this, I was immediately transported back to one of my college classes where we discussed colors and their use as poetic devices. Anyway, I'm ranting. Great work; and to end with "red"...brilliant--just don't let those shoes dance you into oblivion. :)

[eglantine]

Haha, yes, color is a great poetic tool. Thank you for reading, I appreciate it.

[Balkaran Sidhu]

the desire of wings...nd the heartbreaks...they all spoke to me...nice to read ur work after a long time...well penned

[eglantine]

Merci tres beaucoup!

[Balkaran Sidhu]

Wat does that mean :p

[eglantine]

It means thank you very much

[Balkaran Sidhu]

:D cool!!!

[Mark]

Silent strength heals slowly. Positive, and hopeful. I think. Maybe I want. :) Great stuff as always either way.

[eglantine]

Thanks for reading Mark

[ChemicalMadness]

Love the line about bring impatient...while there is pain here, I feel the anger as well...anger is not entirely worthless, so long as its used to remind and act as a guardrail, as opposed to destroying...these things will make you, without defining you.

I quite enjoyed this.
CM

[eglantine]

Thank you CM :)

[Pete Langley]

As much as I admire the scorn delivered with such subtle venom at rejection, I jibed somewhat at the metaphoric use of colours and wings. It sounded a bit like an argument between parrots! I don`t mean to sound unkind....the build and phrasing were up to your usual impeccable standard, Eglantine. P.

[eglantine]

Haha, no offense taken! An interesting viewpoint ya have there. Thanks for reading.

[Ali Guerra]

wow, this is beautiful. i especially love the indents in the way you wrote it. it keeps me engrossed. it flows very easily. i really enjoyed this :]

[eglantine]

Thank you Ali