A farewell of sorts

I used to pick up only blue
feathers, but since you tore
my heart from the branch
I now collect all colors--
        I'm impatient
        to fly away
        from your reflection
shining in my memory's eye--
        you, who had thrown
        me to the red and blue
        lights--you, who had taught
        me to love stars for their being,
        (not their brightness).

You should have murdered me,
        tucked my breath beneath my own heartbeat.

I only desire wings,
       just one pair.
My legs are broken from jumping
into phantom arms.

I now know why the moon
remained quiet when I showed
her my heart:

       it was not the right shade
       of red for you to stay.

Reviews

[Jack...]

Eglantine, wow, heartbreaking. I could quote every line of this piece as my favorite. "Stars for their being, not there brightness", "it was the wrong shade of red for you to stay." This is as brilliant as any star and so very deep as the space which trembles behind it. You do know how to reach inside of another human being and rip the emotions from them and lay it in their hands. Very nice my friend.

[eglantine]

Thank you for your thoughts and for reading. I always appreciate it

[Fréyjä Helv..]

Oh my. I just had a flashback. I could greatly relate to this much that I could realize at first read. Very well portrayed, its deep and metaphorical play was beautiful. As always. great work. A heartbreaking piece.

[eglantine]

thank you and I like your pic!

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Lol. Thank you :)

[Fréyjä Helvití]

Lol. Thank you :)

[Melobldnfr]

Oh my. The last two stanzas are unmatched. You pack a wallop Dear E.

[eglantine]

thank you Melobldnfr

[beautiful dreamer]

Wow girl this is so haunting. Beautiful but haunting. Wonderful piece eggplant....im kidding dnt hit me love u girl and love this write!! Great work

[eglantine]

Hahaha thanks Jen!

[Androglossia]

...tucked my breath beneath my own heartbeat - is my favorite line. This poem shows a complex of emotion, the complexity of a relashionship; words left unsaid or better left unsaid. Yet I was able to grasp the entirety of your intention. Excellent as always!

[eglantine]

Thank you for reading

[K. Louis]

"you should have murdered me, tucked my breath beneath my own heartbeat" -- great line there!
"My legs are broken from jumping into phantom arms" -- Love!
...and everything after that, the ending..perfect crescendo.
Very emotive piece. Well done.

[eglantine]

Glad you enjoyed it

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

I miss cracking my knuckles and then being a spazz in my reviews..but yeah phantom arms and misshapen hues; you were only supposed to break one leg before the show..there in lies a lesson in focus maybe..one we can maybe all pass around the table like a bottle of wine...maybe that zinfandel with medium transparency and 1/2 a percent less or more alcohol content..I especially enjoyed the middle couplet..you always get naked in your poems, and I admire that, but in a way that nudges you to see yourself, rather than feeling simply erotic..i think this ironically prepares us for eroticism..whatever it is and the character of the other character, i'm just glad you shared it, thank you

[eglantine]

haha yes, nudity in my poems (usually) is not meant to be erotic, but more revealing, more open and fragile. Thanks for reading and I always enjoy your creative reviews.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

there's something real about the experience..makes reviewing feel natural..you're welcome and thank you too for the compliment

[Dana Alsamsam]

this is hauntingly beautiful and heartbreaking. i particularly like the bit about the moon remaining quiet. it's sad that the same person who taught you to love those stars for their being could not reciprocate and love you for yours. so many are broken from jumping into phantom arms and then we wonder why we're hurt? love is the epitome of disillusionment. incredible and thought provoking write!

[eglantine]

Thank you very much for your detailed review. I really appreciate it :)

[Frieda P]

All the colors of bittersweet farewells, always a joy to read your poetry, your pen is unique and lovely at the same time.

[eglantine]

I appreciate it :)

[Frieda P]

Always my pleasure :-)