I've moved to the bathtub

Go away reader--
    I'm naked
and bathing in orange
blossoms, trying to wash
the stare of his pistachio
eyes from my skin,

you do understand, don't you?

Thorns growing inside my glass-veined heart?

If you promise not to taste
the water, you can stay,
    maybe we can listen to each others'
    pulses:
               yours dry like merlot,
               mine underwater and buoy-belled.

You know,
    he had too much hair on his back anyways.

The moon is too round in my throat
for back-hair or hard eyes.

Reader, please hold my heart for me,
    my lungs are dry;
    I need to fill them with water.

Reviews

[Jack...]

E, the line, "You know, he had too much hair on his back anyways" had me laughing out loud this morning. I know what you are saying in this piece. I understand the emotions that are pouring from this screen and I also realize, it is not funnt...this feeling. But the fact that you found a spot to insert a little humor made this poem extra great. Very cool my friend. I agree with Sarah, you have a very unique style about you.

[eglantine]

Thank you very much Jack and glad to have had you laugh.

[Meliss@k]

“My lungs are dry- I need to fill them With water” yikes. Such a strong line. And the fact that the writer is giving her heart to the reader makes it appear that this is her last request before heartbreak and (drowning) send the writer to her death...

[Emily B]

yes, oh yes, is there room in the tub for me?

[Traci]

I'm glad I came across this on the home page, E. Enjoyed it immensely as it was very well written, with a little humor that balanced it out nicely. Will definitely be reading more of your work, as you clearly have a unique style all your own. Well done.

[eglantine]

Thank you :)

[Richard]

I agree . You have a real comfortability about your writing and just all I can say is you're great at what yo do and I feel inferior and stupid now..
I really loved it

[eglantine]

no! don't feel inferior and stupid! Thanks for reading

[Richard]

But I ... inevitably ... I have no choice is what I mean!
:) I feel stupid inside ... no I don't mean that
But you are my favorite writer :) in the world ... and I'm not being sarcastic I just am enthusiastic about your writing ... and possibly you ... but mostly you ..

[TheLastEclipse]

I can definately say I've never read anything like that. Very vivid yet blunt descriptions. It sort reminds me of a Lydia song. I could hear the fellow sing these words. I'm definately a fan.

[eglantine]

merci :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

What an interestingly surreal and out of the box piece. I am reminded a little of Sylvia Plath...sort of the purposefully contrary voice off-set by the eventual longing for connection to the reader. Obviously, the imagery and the wording are both great; you have a very unusual style all of your own. Well written.

[eglantine]

That makes me so happy that you picked up on Plath's influence in my writing. She is my inner-mentor! Thanks :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

One of mine as well...she had a morbidly fascinating voice, and life as well, I suppose. While in college I carried her anthology around with me every day, despite the drag of my already overfilled backpack; I'm also looking at The Bell Jar upon my shelf as I write this. Glad to find a fellow Plath lover.

[eglantine]

haha YES! I did as well! Have you read her journal entries?

[Melobldnfr]

Wow. Nice soliloquy!

I love your motifs ("...the moon is too round in my throat...")! And as always, your descriptives: "orange blossoms"; "pistachio eyes".

And, "you do understand, don't you?" Just treasures, them all, as are you!

[eglantine]

Thank you for reading and commenting--I appreciate it!

[beautiful dreamer]

i have no idea what to say here girl!! good poem

[eglantine]

haha *hug

[Poussiere D'Ange]

I got a taste of your blissful writing after a long time eglantine, and it tastes as beautiful as before.
The moon is too round in my throat
for back hair or hard eyes-
One of the beautiful highlights of this piece.
Loved it absolutely:):):D.

[eglantine]

merci :)