Disassociation

They tell me to pray,
that He is always listening,
but God is blue from love
and my hands have forgotten
how to hold.

God of moths,
    God of the lonely,
        God of scalp and skin
                and rust.

I like staring at hymns,
    not reading them,
but watching as if they'll
sneeze or turn into tiny birds.

I started out deep blue,
    but I've faded to grey

and they keep opening my mouth,
   trying to pull out prayers,
   but they had already flown away

like birds from an olive tree.

Author's Note

hmmm bluebirds or simply birds?

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

What an interesting concept... The idea of religion woven into a tapestry of internal lament and broken hope. This is a great metaphor that I can truly relate to. So many "God fearers" out there, and yet we all need something to believe in; that is the rub, I think. Well written in form and concept.

[eglantine]

merci as always!

[Pete Langley]

You`ve really started me thinking now, Eglantine! How much of our `given` faith do we retain - even when we develop our own philosophy as poets? I was raised a Baptist - and still know all the hymns (and sing along to them with the radio!) but I`ve long since rejected Christianity. What part of me still wants to believe? Maybe the selfish part? I enjoy your poem, Cherie. P.

[eglantine]

Thank you Pete for reading and your inquisitive review.

[Richard]

how about ladybirds? which are really bugs ... and not always ladies ...

This was another fine piece for the writing community :)

[justthatgirl34]

This is really really interesting. I actually completely understand what's going on here and connect emotionally with it. Amazing job!

[eglantine]

ooo I'm glad! Thank you

[Steve]

I would say birds. I believe that often times writers give too much info. Sometimes the readers need to fill in certain blanks.

I like this. It was a cool write. I also pray and sometimes think the same things.

[eglantine]

yes, agreed, thank you!

[Steve]

:0)

[Ban Heo]

I really like the 2nd and 3rd stanza, but I feel like it turns a little too abruptly at the 4th and ends slightly cliche at the last line. You've got good language going on here, just as you do in all of your other poems, but for me, the idea of this one doesn't seem fully fleshed out. Great work though, as always.

[eglantine]

yes, i fully agree :) Thanks!

[Simon Welsh]

Dayum. I love this.

[eglantine]

merci

[Mark]

I think you've captured that sense of disconnection so many of us find in religion these days. I especially liked the image of God turned blue. Well done, as always Eg. :)

[eglantine]

Thank you Mark

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Once we come of age it is a hard transition when we come to terms that there is no such thing as fairy tales or happy endings... excellent poetry.

[eglantine]

merci

[Clockwork]

I really like the second and the third stanza of the piece. I think they have a lot of power and say quite a bit overall. The second stanza paints God as a keeper of the dispossessed and lonely. I view that figure to be more of a merciful one. I think that stanza does indeed read a little like a prayer too. As for the third stanza, I think it is just very unique, especially the part about seeing if they will sneeze or turn into tiny birds.

I love the simile you use at the end of the poem, but it feels out of place there. I think the natural stop might just be the last line of the fifth stanza. Although, I would say that if you do take the simile out of the end, I do hope you use it in another piece.

[eglantine]

Yes, I'm probably going to cut that last line and keep it for some other time. Thanks for reading.

[Clockwork]

You're welcome.