She stands in silver

The rain washes prayers
from her shivering, lilac lips
as the dirt muds up around her feet.

The ink from his letter swims
like watery ribbon from the page
to her trembling hands to the ground
like the moons' silver heartbeats.

Her lungs swell with a drowned scream:
    S'il vous plait, mon amour!

She stands among black-eyed susans, dress
clinging like an extra layer of pale skin

and the moon sharpens the rain silver;
the lunar beads burn her heart lily-white.

Author's Note

Again, I'm rusty... poem prompt from Jack... and Spencer

Reviews

[SteveB]

Very nice. Vivid images and a wonderful economy of language. Not a single word more than is necessary to create the mood, a mood which can be read in many ways. Is it a love letter, a letter of farewell, or perhaps a letter from a dead lover? The potential ambiguity, highlighted by the "drowned scream", adds to the overall effect. Thank you for sharing this.

[eglantine]

merci! :)

[G!o]

Amazing imagery with fine lines especially, 'the rain washes prayers' it sort of triggers my brain with ideas. You say rusty i say touché.

[Nick.B]

Wonderful imaginary, love how you opened this poem "the rain washes prayers"...nicely done

[Hayley]

Full of imagery and unique quotable lines with a touch of French in there to add to the aura surrounding this poem. I think I'm pegging this as your style :)
As for being rusty, go with it. The heavy imagery makes the mind think.

[eglantine]

thank you Hayley :)

[Sami Khalil]

A magical write to say the least...:)

[Frieda P]

Elegance in this sad read...'the moon sharpens the rain silver', breathtaking line. Nice one.

[Cole Hayley]

Ah, beautiful as always. Fourth stanza is soo killer, the title is the only thing i'm not very fond of. great work, tho.

[eglantine]

Thanks ! I've changed the title

[Androglossia]

Awesome imagery, awesome French and good title. I can almost see the silvery strips of rain.. in a moonlit sky? Strange but beautiful. Yes I see it.

[eglantine]

merci Maryanne :)

[Brandon S. Whitten]

I love te visual in your words. Excellent read and write.

[Racy Daniel]

It's a very good poem. It holds very deep meaning. Keep going.

[eglantine]

merci

[lee von cleef]

Not too rusty,just to be playful,read it and drop out "Like" see if it works without the two "Like" for you for fun.

[eglantine]

thanks for the suggestion!