Barter

I don't want your heart--
it's covered in old algae and
leftover oyster shells,
cracked open and empty.

I want your vocal chords
and tongue! The tight
spaces between your teeth
and the curves of your lips.

Give me your minute hand and
the lines on your palm,
I don't want your stomach lining
or your church face

and I certainly don't
want your red wine--
it's as dry as your fingers
used to crumble rye bread.

I don't have much to offer--
just some needle and ink,
an old Tulip
and my handshake.

I can hear your voice
just as surely as you see mine
on this page we both,
at least for now, pause on.

Author's Note

special thanks to Steven for his suggestions!

Reviews

[MachinaWriter]

"I can hear your voice / just as surely as you see mine / on this page we both, / at least for now, pause on." What a wonderful ending! Pause on. It reminds me of a military saying we have of "stand fast". As always, you weave together images and words in ways that speak deeper of the mind and soul than a first glance would supply. I learn more and more each time why I am a fan of yours. You truly have a talent ^^

[eglantine]

thank you very much

[lee von cleef]

Lay the words ,sparse, dust them around,set the trap in the trail, next to the trail, place it where the herd walks,spray a sent,musty,lure a fer-moan tease,texture helps,a arch,a cats tongue,banana grip,moist glance over breasts,Satin buttons loose tilt to lengthen,keep it simple a curious gesture benign but warm,almost unseen,peaking out pause now drop the claws snatch a prize.

[eglantine]

thanks

[lee von cleef]

Do you ever review ? any one ? Me?

[eglantine]

yes, just send me a read request--might take me a bit, i have quite a few plus NaNo is going on

[lee von cleef]

just click on my name any,are Ok,let fate fall...maybe you have a angel to lead you.

[Emily B]

so often sea-things show up in your writing, i think you must be the mythical mermaid

[eglantine]

lol correction: i AM a mermaid :D

[Emily B]

and i love your siren songs

[Eagle Cruagh]

I like this . A poor criticism, but
coming from a guy who doesn`t like
much you must admit, it is high praise.
Thank you. An honor to read you.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[eglantine]

thank you for reading :)

[TLK]

The heart and the oyster shell link works for me. There's a kind of heart-shaped lockety feel to it.

The link between sea-dwellers and stealing voice is, of course, straight out of The Little Mermiad.

I am most compelled by the minute hand / lines on palm. This gives me some interesting imagery.

[Mark]

An interesting poem. The imagery seems like it must represent personal things only two people might share but even though they may not be understood, I still felt them. Good work.

[eglantine]

thanks Mark :)

[Boy of the red]

im not sure i get the meaning of the poem. but still a nice feel!