September Tuesday

Today,

         I am radiating lightning.

My heart is a battery,
pumping high voltage

and my eyes spark white.

I am the electric glass
dragon and I breathe out
flames influenced by the moon;

fiber-optic speech
and when I smile,
you can see the air
around me crackle
and smoke.

Reviews

[Celestial Witch Child]

This is amazing and I am incredibly jealous of your raw talent. Transfer it to me. Via the internet. Right now.

[eglantine]

bwhahaha, btw, when will you be posting more journal things? I quite enjoy them

[Celestial Witch Child]

I'll try to get some more up soon.

[Whales]

it's like. you're a lightening storm or something. woooooaaaaaahhhh.

[eglantine]

haha

[Nobody.]

This is cool. Quite passionate.
Wish I was radiating lightning.
:)

[eglantine]

we all are, in a way, our brain is full of electrical impulse and synapses!

[~]

This makes me feel like a robot. That pleases me. I have to say, I am severely wishing that we were capable of fiber optic speech now. Something about that just seems like it would look pretty. This is a little gem of happiness. Thank you for the smile.

[eglantine]

glad to make ya smile :)

[Allycat]

Wonderful title, wonderful imagery and metaphors..wonderful poem! Very well done :)

[eglantine]

danke!

[MachinaWriter]

I like it. Energetic, and you have a knack for using just the right words to conjure both emotion and imagery. Maybe if you'd cut the end off at crackle, then started a new line with "and smoke" to end it, the thing would have had the pop it needed. Other than that, it was a good piece and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing. ^^

[eglantine]

I took paulo's and your suggestion :) thanks lots!

[Pól]

Danger, danger, high voltage!!
I really like the energy of this- and I think the last line's grand: flames do crackle (love onomatopoeiac words in poetry) and produce smoke. I would however start a new line @ crackle.
Great job yet again, Eggy

[eglantine]

thanks! glad ya liked it. yes, i agree with your line break suggestion. I'll do that. lol eggy?

[Eloha]

Yes I like the short filtered happy lines. "breathe out"?

I really like it, but the last line doesn't do the thing justice, yaknow?

[eglantine]

haha opps, thanks for catching that typo, I fixed it. Hmm, mind if I ask why?

[dukovan]

Pow right in tha kissa'!
This is badass, I like this side of you.

[eglantine]

merci :)