September Tuesday

Today,

         I am radiating lightning.

My heart is a battery,
pumping high voltage

and my eyes spark white.

I am the electric glass
dragon and I breathe out
flames influenced by the moon;

fiber-optic speech
and when I smile,
you can see the air
around me crackle
and smoke.

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

That's so deep, the metaphor is very curious, very creative and, of course, very expressive,
I caught a positive feeling in these verses still the unusual metaphor makes me doubt about it or at least, to consider it from a different point of view
Great poem

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

Very creative indeed, well done :)

[The Nude Writer]

Are you some kind of robot? And if so do you have any powers? And if so.. do you use your powers for good.. or for awesome? hehe sorry a little Homestar Runner humor. I miss that site. hehe.

This is really cool. What a great idea :)

[eglantine]

haha I don't know the reference but still made me simle.

[lee von cleef]

(had a key stuck)Court maybe stopping my review on her Mac,In short I like your words sound like hers ,read better then mine.

[eglantine]

thank ya :)

[lee von cleef]

Court , my daughter, gone, but like finding a Blue October CD,meeting Malichai

[Wakeofahero]

Hey this is really good, I liked the end when you talked about breathing out smoke, very interesting, and very creative!
1

[eglantine]

Thanks!

[Kim]

You always bring the most unexpected images to the most commonplace situations. I love your style and each of your poems is really top-notch. My favorite is "I am the electric glass dragon." It loses a little of the flow in the last stanza. The line "fiber-optic speech" is awesome but spatially, it seems out of place. You might want to play around with the arrangement there. The way you space out your poems is really advanced - I'm sure that you can find a tiny change that will really make that part work even better for you. Great work again and happy writing!

[eglantine]

again, awesome suggestions. I seriously appreciate the feedback. I'll def take it into consideration when i revise it.

[Kim]

I'm glad that it's helpful. :)

[Hidden Happiness]

I think this describes a beautiful and powerful person n i think that's u so yeah another great piece of writing:-):-D.

[eglantine]

aw thanks! haha, just made my afternoon.

[Hidden Happiness]

:-D.

[Uroš D. Stojanov..]

Amazing picture that you sent. Great work as always, so keep doing what you do best!

-Urosh Stojanovic

[eglantine]

Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Kat]

I envy your talent. The line "My heart is a battery, pumping high voltage" is fantastic. Maybe you could review my poem and give me some tips?

[eglantine]

Of course! Just send me a read request :)