Lake-nestled

a collaboration

I see a chaos of green leaves

build around her pupils,

a little sun appears                                    

like a copper pearl within

an oyster shell.

Satisfied with the lily-pad

buttoned lakewater, she dives

under as I stare with the trees

from shore, and wonder

 

if she'll rise to taste this

August air again.

And then I see her,

caught midstream

As though lulled by

The coils of crystalline.

Her bright hair

Spreading on

The blue surface,

All overgrown with moss

And flowers.

And I saw in her

Old palaces...

She stands, rustic-opal

streams down her naked

body and she slowly beckons

to me so I undress and leave my

flannel inhibitions next to her floral dress.

The closing night

Frames her beauty;

aesthetic men

scarcely see.

Each flame of it

constantly reignites

and dissolves in ever-

moving light.

Each glance shrinks

My lungs and enflames                    

my crush, repels to

make hope wither.

I wade up behind her            

and she places my hands on the slick      

curves of her hip-bones    

 

          ecoutez

 

she whispers and pulls my lips            

to her neck where her pulse faintly                                  

gleams in the moon's low echo

Author's Note

Wrote this with John and it was not only an entertaining writing exercise, but lots of fun as well. I highly reccomend collaborating with another poet--the combination of imaginations! SPecial Thanks to the writer named, .me who fixed the formatting issue I was having :D

Reviews

[Eloha]

Pearls and doves! I like the flow and strange melange.

[Nobody.]

Beautiful images. Lit my senses on fire. Looks like a chance at visceral paradise....yet...feels like a trap.
Good. good. good.

Cheers!

[Ken Simm.]

I think of Hylas and the Water Nymphs by Waterhouse here.

[...]

. exquisite poetry ... i love the detailing and the pace at which the narrative unravels ... reminds me of songs sung with much joy (those old jazz / blues unforgettables) ... i also love the sweetness in the choice of words ... there's much magic in all that is mellifluous ... gorgeous work by amazingly gifted poets ... (i've read a lot of monsieur john) ... and ... you're very welcome ... notepad fixed the formatting issue ... but if you must thank me ... i'm cool with that :P ...

[eglantine]

thanks!

[...]

. you're very welcome :) ...

[I Shred This Cabbage]

thanks serah for the fix and lovely commetns and yes i had to thank you :P

[...]

. well ... monsieur john, i won't say what's actually in my heart ... you'll have to make do with "you are very welcome" :P ...

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

ok, I had to read this a few times to really get the full effect..sometimes you're struggling to find meaning in the midst of some effect a piece has on you...and you miss the majesty and clarity of some of the imagery in this struggle to comprehend. And you realize as you get more immersed in it, the meaning sort of returns to you. I think this turned into one of your more erotic moon poems (as suggested by someone in a review recently)..I find it interesting the moon is mostly implied until the end. It reads like the siren song in a seduction of self...but this self-seduction is mostly just an homage to the things that most deeply resonate with you in a coil of crystalline imagery as it arises from the depths of the unconscious mind..or the depths between the conscious and the unconscious. Their may be some Jung-ian implications here that I'm not versed enough in to fathom or express...but it's overall a great integration of the mythologies you have embraced...it kinda makes me wonder if I'm not the one who's the myth living in the imagination of a dream..that's how a great poem tears you at the seams and gives you a window to jump out of and grow

[eglantine]

wow, great review! I'm flattered :) yes, I agree with the moon eroticsm. Something seems to be blooming within myself, some female power lol idk if that's good or bad. plus it was a joy to write with john

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

well, it synergized well. I was floored. I think your self-discovering is coming along famously..I wouldn't worry about good or bad.

[I Shred This Cabbage]

thanks for the review lhs :)
and yes sivvy it was a joy so thanks again :)

[eglantine]

also, not sure why it squished some words to the far right... not supposed to be like that... grrr

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

you could probly edit it and put the line breaks back in

[eglantine]

i did... and it still does that :(

[Emily B]

i liked the words on the far right . . . they caused me to pause and reflect

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I was kind of thinking, maybe it was one of those things that happened for a reason by accident, maybe

[Emily B]

I thought it was on purpose by design, maybe

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

that was my first thought as well before I read the comment

[eglantine]

oh... well too late, i changed it lol

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

well, a couple of us got to read it that way

[Emily B]

your voices melt together seamlessly, it is a gorgeous collaboration

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I'm actually trying to figure out which is which myself..it's distracting me from leaving a review

[I Shred This Cabbage]

thanks emily :) it was effortless :)