La princesse flamant rose

My nana did not bathe

in the tin tub

her family used, not did her vocal

cords capture the air so she

could speak the language of love.

 

She prefered sneaking from laundry

and bread baking to be where

the moon once shed its pearly

skin: le jardin dans son coeur.

 

It was there she folded her clothes

onto the eyelash-grass shore

and joined the flamingos--the

 

heartbeats the moon left behind.

The water wrote her name in words

 

only skin can understand...

 

and here, her hue was just faint

of what the moon

 

once loved.

 

Here, avies and young woman bathed in the cool

nectar of the hidden pond.

 

Shed flamingo feathers floated towards

my nana and clung

softly to her legs.

Author's Note

My nana always told me when I was a young child, how there was a garden in her heart where we could escape to. The title translates into The flamingo princess and "le jardin dans son coeur" translates to the garden in her heart.

Reviews

[Ryan Zeller]

This is beautiful. I felt even more moved when I read that it comes from your real life. I loved the line "The water wrote her name in words / only skin can understand," although I would suggest dropping the ellipsis. Ellipses tend to give the impression that an author is trying to sound more "deep" (not that I'm saying this was your intention), I just mean to say that the line has strength enough on its own without the additional punctuation.

I also notice you tend to use the moon as imagery in poems about femininity. Imagery motifs can be great, but when it comes to a poetic cliche like the moon, I would try to use it more sparingly (or in a way that your reader won't expect).

[eglantine]

yes, this is true... I need to reign in my moonlight a bit lol

[.]

I was very impressed by this gem that you created. From the first line until the end, you took your audience on this beautiful adventure in your nana's heart. The vibrate imagery and the poignant metaphors also help spice up this piece a lot. I think the main thing that I enjoyed though was the symbolism of the flamingo. Although in many cultures the flamingo represents an outgoing and socially flirty figure(which is not the case here), they also represents balance and grace, which is clearly evident. I really enjoyed this, and thank you for your read request.

-Cord

[Dark Tower]

A very beautiful way to show appreciation for your Nana. I especially love the second stanza

[Eloha]

Wonderful! How I miss my nana. I really think you should develop this franglais style, I find it very cute. And I adore your poetry.

Anything you write, I'd trust, would turn to gold.

[eglantine]

awww thanks! Ya, my nana and I are very close. She's french, hence my love for using the language.

[Eloha]

So pretty well please will you insert more french in your poems for us?