A certain kind of logic

I imitate mirrored corners to understand

the movement of speech.  Vowels

taste like grapes and oranges; they

rot before I break the skin with my

satin-white teeth.

 

I've stubbed my toe on consonants

at least once each time I dance on the burned

crust of the sun and if I

could, I'd cup my hand to the moon's lips

and exhale my heart into its damp and stoic core.

Reviews

[AndyJCash]

I find myself agreeing with other comments. The imagery is fantastic and a little bit fantasy like which is personally something I really enjoy, but I think you need to help the reader by telling rather than showing so much. I do like the part about the vowels and the fruit particularly though, it's a really strong image.

[sierrasparks91]

this has some fantasy in it and i enjoy that this poem is beautiful.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Why are you so amazing? Seriously. Stop it. You make me look terrible. Lol. Kidding, kidding. This is a really great, imaginitive piece. Wonderful imagery.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

As a languages lover I loved your "phonetically-themed" poem ! The synesthesia, personifications and metaphors are interesting, riddling at times ! Great job =D

[...]

Stunning write! This looks like creative genius to me. I would have never thought of your male/female use of imagrey as vowels and consenates. phenomenal work, eglantine :)

[eglantine]

thank you :)

[Eloha]

I've written a hundred poems just like this one, but perhaps not as good as this!

[cilla]

This is a bit like falling down the rabbit hole ... nothing is as it appears to be. I was taken by the opening as mirrors are often wonderful symbolism. But ... quite literally, mirrored corners allow us to see around the bend ... something that would otherwise not be visible ... in this case understanding the movement of speech. As letters arrange themselves, words are formed then the letters rearranged to form the next word ... and so on ...

For me, this is one of those poems that read quite beautifully but when you come to the end, give pause and then wonder, "What the heck was that all about?" As is the case with all writings, it is the reader who gives meaning and vision to the work. The author lays it out there hoping someone will find exactly what they intended ... but more often that is not the case.

Forgive my rambling because I, too, would love to "cup my hand to the moon's lips and exhale my heart into its damp and stoic core."

Now, the real trick ... back up and out of the rabbit hole.

[eglantine]

Your reviews are always appreciated :)

[Dean Kuch®]

Writing can certainly take on author on a fantastic, yet sometimes, excruciatingly grueling journey. Words in and of themselves are just that, words. However, when crafted together with precision and expertise, they can create vividly stunning works of art, as you've done here...

[eglantine]

Thank you very much :) glad you enjoyed it

[Dean Kuch®]

I did. And you are welcome...

[bob, small b. aka invs]

very cool. i've stubbed my toe on a few consonants myself. great line. and the idea of vowels tasting like fruit is wonderful. you have a way of making disjointed thoughts sound perfectly reasonable. i guess that takes a certain kind of logic.

[eglantine]

as always, thank you for reading :) I always appreciate your review

[Hidden Happiness]

vowels taste like grapes and oranges....such amazing uses of metaphors...its like i can taste the words lol....awesome:):)

[eglantine]

yea! Thank you for reading :)

[Fréyjä Helv..]

The complexity of your thoughts makes the poem difficult to comprehend by readers. I'm not sure what connections you have with some lines for, example, a stubbed toe on consonants, and then the crust of the sun. But I do love the imagery. Perhaps if you made it a bit longer, maybe the audience could draw an almost clear picture of your poem. keep it up :)

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

difficult but far from impossible..
the sun and moon are typically male and female symbols in mythology, respectively
she's attributing similar roles to the vowels and consonants
there's also a def correlation between grape/orange and moon/sun
this poems wraps into itself as the first line intones
and leaves its genesis exodus mark when the stanzas collides and converge when you jump from the sun to the moon imagery

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

so you have male/female logic/creative consonant/vowel sun/moon...it's kind of surreal, but no stranger than any other great poem should be..and making it longer potentially makes it more confusing instead of less

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

my grammar was a little off in explaining in the first part, because it's like 4:30 am..but hopefully the idea is in some way clear

[Fréyjä Helvití]

With that cleared, now I get the writers perspective, or rather your perspective. Pretty deep its meaning which gave me a hard time reading in between the lines... thanks though...

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

visualizing philosophy and vice-versa is always a worthy challenge, glad I could help if I did