Roses and chocolate

Kianna, a French girl, takes matters into her own hands after being stood up by the boy she liked. She chooses self-love, enjoying a solo date with roses, chocolate, and a sense of freedom.

Kianna, a sweet French dreamer 

Fell in love in winter's shimmer

With a cute boy named Nick

Who asked her on a date last week

Days and days passing by

Not another word from that guy

A sigh escapes, but she won't wait,

Her happiness won't hesitate

She decides not to cry for her potential mate,

Admits, she still wants roses and chocolate 

She won't wait anymore for a boy running late

So she finally takes herself out on that date

Kianna ends up sitting on a white bench at the park

Reading her favourite romance novel in the dark

And that moment she says to the universe:

"Merci, you took away my distress"

Author's Note

I was inspired to write this poem after I watched an ad for perfume a few days ago with the same story and now I turned it into a poem with a few of my touches added so I hope you love it as much as I do! ♡

Reviews

[Twilight]

If I saw the advertisement, it would have been easier for me; to imagine the scene which you have portrayed.

Perhaps, no coincidence too; that you posted this - with Valentine's Day drawing nearer (day by day) lol?

It made me think, how spontaneously; a romance can start. Even, after a first date. Or when, you think that someone has lost interest in you; or their fondness has started to fade away. Or, may have wondered if that person was worth pursuing; in the first place? It happens.

Quite cleverly, I linked how your ending to this piece; makes a brief allusion - to romantic literature and the mysterious universe...

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much for your kind words!!! To be honest this wasn't like a traditional advertisement, I watched it on Instagram and it was made by an influencer and her name is actually Kianna and she is promoting a perfume line! This story is pretty much the same to that video/advertisement, Kianna is asked out by the boy she likes, she doesn't get another response about when they will hang out, in the video she's watching her favourite movie, Coraline, then but I couldn't find a way to include that in the poem but at that moment she says "I still want roses and chocolate" and then a date with herself begins. In the whole duration of the video she's showing each perfume from the line and that's a clever way of marketing in my opinion. Anyways, thank you so much for your kind review and words once again!!! I really appreciate it!

[D. Mansfield]

Hi I liked it alot, look forward to reading more

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much for your kind review!!!

[Soren]

Quite the Valentine's day poem. Too bad or maybe not to end up alone. A fun read

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[LisaCarol]

This was so well written and fun to read, especially with Valentine’s Day so near. Keep writing my friend, your words are so dear!

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much for your kind words!!! I really appreciate it :)

[emmajoygreen]

A grand response to 'For metrical poetry like what you’ve written ' - like what?! Your writing, in a second language, is so very well laid, Efxaris. Your play on the coming date - and how it could be, is extremely well put together, am truly impressed every time I read your latest offer. However, seems from your bio that you'll be having the best time from your 'same guy' - and deserve every moment. :)

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much for your kind review! Yes I understood what metrical poetry means but thank you for making me more sure. This poem actually doesn't have anything to do with me actually, I was inspired by an ad I saw for a perfume line! So there's isn't any date, and probably never will be if you are talking about my story A Sentimental Hug, something happened and I do plan to write about it so I can put it in your read requests once I post it if you want! Thank you again for your lovely words!

[JayG]

So, I accidentally posted this, first, on your story's page, which explains the deleted post. 😜

Given your age I’m impressed with what you’ve done. And that statement stands alone, and is not detracted from by what comes next.

And, I’ll not comment on the poem, itself, because of something everyone in your situation will miss. So... take a deep breath, because here’s what you missed:

Thousands of years ago, in your country, they began writing poetry. And since then, people have been working to improve the techniques, learn how to avoid problems, and grab the reader by the throat and not let go. And, given that it’s poetry they were writing, and your school-day training is designed to make you useful to employers, who need us to write reports, letters, and other NONFICTION applications, how much of that specialized poetic technique do you think your teachers have given you?

See the problem? They offer degree programs in poetry-related subjects. There’ve been endless numbers of books written on poetic technique. So...what are the odds that you, in turning to writing poetry, are going to “get it right?”

My point? Do what Wilson Mizner suggested: “If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research,” and research! Make those skills yours and you stand on the shoulders of giants (and may get better grades on writing assignments) Skip that step and you’ll be making the same mistakes they were long ago, and never realize you’re doing it.

And, the learning will be filled with things you've never thought of, but will say, “That makes perfect sense,” when you read it. So the learning will add many unexpected options, and answer questions you didn’t know you should be asking.

For metrical poetry like what you’ve written here, Jump over to Amazon and read the excerpt from Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled. He will amaze you with things unexpected about the flow of language.

For non-metrical poetry, try Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. It’s filled with things that will have you saying, “Why have I never noticed that? And it will make a huge improvement in your writing.

And, since you’re also writing prose, another suggestion:

What you wrote was a narrative, and very well written. But for fiction, while that can work, there’s a lot more to it—again, very different from the fact-based and author-centric approach of reports, and your story. With its goal of entertaining the reader, fiction’s approach is emotion-based and character-centric. So, if you plan to try writing fiction, grab a copy of Debra Dixon’s, GMC; Goal Motivation & Conflict:

https://dokumen.pub/qdownload/gmc-goal-motivation-and-conflict-9781611943184.html

And for fiction you might want to check a few of my articles, and YouTube videos. They’re meant as an overview of the traps and gotchas that trap us all.

But whatever you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

- - - - - -

“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
~ E. L. Doctorow

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
~ Groucho Marx

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Wow thank you for all of your advice!! Yes I understand that I'm not that good of a writer, English isn't even my first language so writing like a true poet is hard for me. I will absolutely check out these books and read them if possible. Thank you for your advice again I really appreciate it and I promise to keep writing and trying my best to improve!

[Martiya Daman]

I hope you improve! Keep going!

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you Martiya!!

[Alice Reiht]

I love the way this is worded, it's very relatable! Reading is truly one of the best medicines. :3

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much Alice! I really appreciate your kind words! I agree, reading is fuel to the human body :D

[Alice Reiht]

Of course! Also, I recently completed a prologue short story for Nameless, if you're interested ;3

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Oooo nice, I will definitely read it later! Could you please send it to me through a reading request just so I won't forget to read it later because right now I have to do my homework lol :D

[Alice Reiht]

ok! I sent you one before, and it says I can;'t send anymore but I will try again :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I do like this story poem very much....and relate....there have been many times when loneliness has been erased by one of my very good friends, a book.
j.

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much for your kind words!!! I really appreciate it!

[Betty Hermelee]

I think you did the right thing by skipping over the "prince" and going about your business...shows you have self worth and fortitude... Bravo!
Warmly, B

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much!!! I appreciate the review and your kind words!!

[Betty Hermelee]

you are very welcome!🌷
Warmly, B🌷

[Dylan Macadham]

a lovely bittersweet glimpse into self-affirmation.
...Ah, the dreaded V-Day is soon upon us💔

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you for your kind review! Valentine's day is coming soon yes but that's what this poem teaches us, that we should love ourselves and not wait for someone else to love us when they clearly don't want to!