Why am I here?

"Why am I here?" is a poem, a haunting reflection on self-doubt and the search for meaning, exploring the struggle to find purpose in a world that feels indifferent.

Am I just a shadow in my corner?

 Another pointless breath? 

Does it even really matter,

 If I was born of science or in nature's depth?

 A thought passes through my head 

Before sleep I ask the pillow on my bed

 Longing for an answer to hear 

 Why am I here? 

 Will I be the star of the family? 

Will I stay the monster John? 

He who people love to make fun of for infinity 

 Laughing at him endlessly on?

 Too many questions forming

 My heart begins racing 

 Am I the one going insane 

Or does the world wish to keep me chained? 

 As my breath falters, the voices in my head, I ask them 

Did the world break me, or my desire to be a gem? 

Silence for a while, then with a trembling hand, I release the fight,

 And fade into silence, swallowed by night.

Author's Note

I was inspired to write this poem by the wonderful writer's, Twilight's, stories (Nature's Friend and The Survivalist) Thank you Twilight for letting me get inspiration from your beautiful work, it is truly amazing and I hope I connected the two stories exactly as you wanted! (by the way i am talking as if I were John so none of these things apply to me I am happy with my life :D)

Reviews

[Twilight]

In the first verse, it's implied that you don't think it matters; whether you're a product of nature's "depth" or science. But, remember that nature itself is studied as a branch within science; when people study biology. But, it's still a strong opening verse; which raises meaningful questions.

The second verse seemed to emphasise, how even in your bed alone; you sometimes ponder the question of - "why am I here?".

Verse three, poses the question; of whether or not you will shine forth as a star for your family. Sadly though, it also asks if you might become a laughing stock; or mocked by people. No, darling friend. It is more likely, that you will shine in some ways; and not others. And, your genuine friends; would not mock you in cruel ways. Even if a few strangers laughed at you, take no notice. After all, they would not know the real you.

In verse five, you seem almost on the brink of feeling overwhelmed; feeling so vexed by your deep question. But, even the Ancient Greek and Roman philosophers; could not clearly define -"who am I?". So, no reason why you should expect to answer this question on too deep a level.

"Did the world break me, or my desire to be a gem?" As a teenager, it's way too soon; to even imagine that the world may have broken you. And, I am sure that you are a "gem" to the people who matter in your life. Furthermore, try not too be too hard on yourself.

By the way, ignore those critical comments by Glenda (in her review). She is an adult, but seems to have completely missed the point of your thoughtful poem.

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Everything you said in your review is absolutely true! Both about the poem like you have understood the meaning and also the other comments about me feeling broken. I think based on Glenda's review that this poem may be misunderstood by a lot of people because in this poem I am talking as the character John from your story The Survivalist, so none of this actually applies for me I'm super happy with my life and all of these were the potential words of John! And thank you for all of your words but I am mentally okay so no need to worry!

[Green]

It’s been a minute since I read Frankenstein but this felt somewhat reminiscent of that. Dunno maybe that’s just me but it was a pretty strong mental image for me while reading this. Although, in that context it was more like some sort of weird hybrid conversation between the monster and Frankenstein while somehow still being only one voice. For whatever that’s worth…

Off of that little tangent. This definitely hit the emotional notes you were going for from the description. You captured the feeling of angst that comes from trying to understand where you fit in the world.

Since it’s written from the perspective of John and I do not believe that to be you, I hope these aren’t necessarily things you’ve felt so far. If so, I would say it’s somewhat unwarranted to feel so down especially if you can write like this.

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Thank you so much! I wasn't inspired by Frankenstein's style of writing at all but if that's good I am glad it reminded you of it. Of course this is all from the perspective of John, nothing I have said in this poem applies about me because I am really happy with my life thankfully :) Thank you for your review!

[GlendaK]

Hi, I received your request to read Why am I here? Here's what I think: Dear, you have a bit of a gender mixup here: Will I be the star of the family?
Will I stay the monster John?
He who people love to make fun of for infinity
Laughing at him endlessly on?
My opinion: For some reason I have you connected with Perdition. I advise you to read his amazing poesy. I was, like you, stuck inside a "rhyming abyss" until I studied Perdition. Without talking, I learned to break free of the pit that had me rhyming without sense at times. Good luck. sincerest G

[Efxaris Arampatzi]

Hi, I'm sorry but I don't understand where the gender mixup is? This poem is basically John speaking and I'm acting like I am John the monster and he's basically asking himself will he be the star of the family, will be stay himself (the monster John) and then he's talking about himself like another person, the he who part is basically the same as the one that (like the John that) he's basically explaining who he is, he's the monster John who people make fun of and laugh at him endlessly. I will still read Perdition so thank you for the feedback and I hope the poem makes a little more sense to you!

[GlendaK]

Well you are the author and most people assume the author is speaking. Look, I am writing. Please ask someone else.