Memoirs of the Conceptionist

It is a cold night, a quite night. The world, eternally revolving is at peace and I as always at this late hour have come out for a leisurely stroll, making optimum utilization of the time alone from the daily hustle-bustle, in deep thoughts of self-introspection. My life has been one huge learning experience and this ironically was also taught to me by life itself. This is my story, an average man’s tale and not an ostentatious effort of any hero who saves the world from catastrophes or unduly treated men seeking revenge, it is also not a lore long forgotten during the passage of time which recently surfaced. This story started long ago in my days of innocence, free from hypocrisy and all the insidious commitments we culminate during our life span, when dealing kindness to a stranger was the most virtuous of acts in this world.

The sound of a passing car distracts me from my thoughts and I realize I have come far from home, I must turn back now; others must be waiting. I start walking back towards my humble abode enjoying the quietness rarely found in abundance such as here. The sounds of insects and other nocturnal birds a pleasurable delight. I return back to the world inside my mind and start ruminating of the years gone by. My struggle to destroy the infidel collusions with vile communities, winning over the preposterous doubts and guilt that haunted me until recently, destruction and reinvention of my ideologies and beliefs, of things lost just when you start believing them to be an integral part of yourself, lost and found love, journey to success and fame, and finally the great purposes found in life.  

I had many great dreams, tantalizing dreams; and concocted the perfect schemes to be great, but, life is funny, it continued to mock my efforts till the time I did not bow down to its whim and surrendered myself entirely to the universe’s heart and soul. My attitude was that of an atheist who believed not in divine decrees but conscious efforts made by the man himself because if everything was already written in the book of destiny then there will be no such thing as free will. I changed, with each incident, good or bad that I experienced, I grew, I learnt; and with each change I adapted and became its instrument furthering its impact on myself and people around me for it was a source of unquestionable learnings.   

 I do not deny being shrewd in my dealings with others when circumstances deemed it necessary or being unscrupulous occasionally for my own benefit, but I will surely deny being called a selfish or a dishonest man or for that matter someone who tried to find happiness in other’s miseries for my initial years of development saw immense stress on strong value system and a strong moral base by my parents. It was not an easy life for I was not born with a silver spoon and luxuries were not enjoyed for a long time. Still, I consider myself a lucky man for I was richer where everyone else seemed so poor, my guardian’s wisdom which made me the man I am today. I was taught to live with pure and uncomplicated simplicity devoid of any hidden undercurrents.

I have been called many things in life, sometimes crazy, sometimes eccentric and occasionally my responses in regular conversations as cynical. I do not blame people for misunderstanding me because their perceptions about be were mostly because of my choice to remain solitary and hence distant from people who otherwise might have wanted to understand my nature; which as has been regularly pointed out to me by people who really know me as ‘inscrutable’.  I cannot imagine how I believe that the experiences I have had in this beautiful life are not just my own but of hundreds of people who are yet lost to the world.

Neither will my story be a source of entertainment nor as great as the story of people who have lived throughout the time and conquered great worlds or spiritual prowess alike; but, it certainly will be a tale which is often brewing in our very own homes but yet ignored as an insignificant part of every man’s life. I say this because it is believed by me that sometimes the most innocuous of experiences and conversations serve us more in life than more sincere beliefs. So, now I give the opportunity to all to probe into my deepest thoughts, my nature, life and most of all, my whimsical conceptions.

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Whoa... speechless, see this is what you render me, Eeshan. I read one of your brilliant pieces of art in word form, and then i am left breathless, unable to form words around the concepts you plant within. This is astounding in beauty. You take us inside the mind of the whimsical conceptionist and let us peek inside his heart as well. My head is spinning... I wish i could adequately articulate how wonderful of a write this is. One day perhaps my breath will return, along with my words and then, maybe then... you will understand.

[W. C. Forrest]

I thank you Kalypso for the beautiful words you always find time to leave on my space. I am not yet worthy of such adulation. Your words are simply ravishing. Your review is a quintessential start of my day. :D

[Ghost of Jupiter]

you deserve every praise you receive...and mine is but a fluttering in the wind, but I am glad they resound in your soul.

[W. C. Forrest]

You just made a soul smile wide with those enchanting words of yours.