Digging

i can see her trembling 
as a delicate flower might shiver in the wake of a cold breeze
petals falling like secrets after a storm
after it blows over she feels naked, exposed
another season has taken its toll
lips tremble, hands unfold
digging
down to roots that have taken hold
woven so deeply into the dirt
where it began

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I can take this as literally a description of a tree or say someone in the limelight like a sportswoman who has to reach her peak every season and then recupperated and prepare for the next. No difference really it is a lovely free verse in any case with lovely allegorical descriptions full of emotional cues.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

John, thank you so much. I had not thought of that as an interpretation (the sportswoman) and I love that you've added that as an additional facet.
thank you for the great comment.

[barleygirl]

This is a brilliantly unfolding metaphor! I was totally enchanted as I watched it in my mind's eye as I read. Good job making this a dynamic little snippet, personifying nature & bringing the personality alive by showing. This reminds me of growing up at a big lake, a recreational area where kids congregated every summer to work at the many summer jobs there. At the end of summer, everyone went home to start school & the lake was desolate thru the winter (which I also loved). The cycle you demonstrate in such a lively way could apply to many aspects of life & love (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Hi Margie, thanks so much for the great comment!
I've been taking time off enjoying the summer weather so my apologies for the late reply!

[John the Baptist]

I get the feeling the floral imagery is a metaphor for the individual who is the subject of this poem. I also feel this person has undergone more than her share of life's batterings, and that she is no longer young. There is, however, no sense of her giving up; rather, she digs down to her spiritual roots to see her through.I get the picture of patient faith.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Thank you for looking deeper than the surface. It's kind of like that. :)

[gram linski]

Great poem, yet again, Edie, I feel like the soul is untethered and looking for purchase, digging down to roots, where it all began, the she is undefined, the nature analogy was fine, fine, fine,

[Edie Blue Starfish]

I appreciate that gram. Thank you.

[R.E. Ray]

Edie, I read strength in this poem, despite some the first few lines. She's well "rooted," and despite seasonal changes and storms, she's resilient and always recovers to bloom again. So, right or wrong, I see a beautiful, resilient flower. :)

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Thank you for that R.E. :)

[apennylate]

"after it blows over she feels naked, exposed "
a simple storm of a poem with delicate syllable-count treading soft-swish of word-sound...
Imagery is simple, and title matches...

I might suggest that you clean-up your end a bit, in that...

"digging
down to roots that have taken hold
woven so deeply into the dirt
where it began"

Kinda derails our syllable count from the first half of the poem, and rips us from immersion...

Anything to make it even, when spoken out-loud... So...

Example:
"Digging
digging down to where roots have hold
woven so deeply in dirt
where i began

I would maybe use "simply began, or to rhyme the "ld" sound from two lines before with something like...
"where it simply began cold"
or
"where it began as old"

Great stuff...

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Hello and thank you for this comment and suggestion.
The wording (taken) is as it's meant to be.
I do appreciate the suggestion very much and often will change things but in this case I like it as is. The way I read it out loud feels right to me. It's a matter of preference always. Thank you. :)

[apennylate]

I love it the way it is, trying to learn hardcore critiquing, so you were used as a guinea pig...read moreI love it the way it is, trying to learn hardcore critiquing, so you were used as a guinea pig...
No problem, was fun to do...
ALWAYS a matter of preference, never let anyone tell you differently...

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Poems are very personal. They shouldn't be used as guinea pigs. If you love it the way it is why not say that in the first place? Some new writer might write a kick a*s poem and take bad advice because someone felt like using their poem as a guinea pig.

[apennylate]

No, I meant my critiquing... As in I am trying to actually give real reviews... That might help the writer... As opposed to just saying...

"wow what an emotional poem, super job"...

I am trying to post on reddit now, and they do NOT let you post without REAL review links to other peoples work... The mods just take it down...
Hence, I am testing different styles of "critique:...

You DID post it to get REVIEWS...

I am nothing but encouraging and nice in ALL of my reviews...

Poems are personal, yes...
A PUBLIC REVIEW SITE for poems, not as much of a "personal space", buddy...

But if it helps you feel better...

Wow, super emotional poem!
There is a safer review for you

[apennylate]

I apologize for trespassing intellectually near your sacred mental safe spaces... I will make a note that the user does not appreciate adult parameters, and will pander my programs bounds to accommodate appropriately!

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Silente, I have accepted comments on my poems and made changes on more than one occasion where I agree with the suggestion. I was fine with your making a suggestion despite not agreeing with it. Until you said my poem was great as is and you were using it as a guinea pig. It completely discredited the authenticity of your critique. That's all I'm saying. Don't critique for the sake of critiquing. Don't look for stuff to pick at without merit. If I thought for a moment there was any value in your critique I would have considered it. But it came across as reaching for something to pick at and I've been writing long enough to know when a suggestion is good and genuine versus forced. So please don't come back to my poem to insult me with the suggestion that I am only looking for safe reviews and that I don't appreciate adult parameters. Judging from the above I'd say it's you who needs growing up. I'm done with this conversation now. If you feel you need the last word then go ahead and respond. I'm not wasting any more time on it.

[apennylate]

Okay pokey smokey.
You continue to take what I said out of context...
How would I learn to judge GOOD poems without having SOMETHING to say... It was a simple syllable suggestion, and I even amended it.

You took it harshly and said poems are personal...

I am going to take that as you looking for only "safe reviews"
Especially when you ignored the explained context behind EACH statement I made...

You choose to focus on my arbitrarily childish statements, that is fine...

I felt it necessary to deliver them when accosted by what I perceived to be the same tactic....
Feeling as this is what you would rather recognize and focus on, rather than my CONTEXT within constructively organized conversation...

Which, judging by you response... I was right-on...

You were "done" before you even answered...

I do not consider debate a waste, but I do consider one-sided explaining of "feelings" a waste...

So...

Good day, then...
And good-luck in your future endeavors

I would add that you should never/rarely amend OG work based on reviews or comments...
Just use that as food for thought on the NEXT piece of work(s) you do...

This will lead to a bit stronger of a stomach, eh...

[Neville]

'Digging' is now firmly among my favourite Edie Blue Starfish posts to date... N

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Thank you very much Neville!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Extremely good,
Fantastic reality,
Beautiful imagination,
And a wonderful piece.

I like this piece.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

thanks a bunch KAY!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

It's my pleasure, Edie.

[Ted Kniffen]

Very difficult to unravel those roots that two planted, but now one remains to dig them out...it may take years, but eventually the pruning works and the one stands on its own...bigger and better than before.

Good one Edie

[Edie Blue Starfish]

thank you, I really like what you said in your comment :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see this as allegory...the raw facts of mother nature being stripped and abused, while at the same time it is a woman who has been used, abused, taken for granted....
and she eventually goes back to her roots, leaving him alone by her grave.
j.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

thank you, yes it's sort of about that :)
thank you for the comment Jacob!

[Chris Shaw]

I felt the vulnerability here of someone who has shared more of herself than she wished with hindsight. That can happen when relationships falter. Lovely free verse you have penned here Edie.

Chris

[Edie Blue Starfish]

thank you Chris, I really appreciate that!