Broken Staff

A poem of failure

Broken Staff

“Let not many of you become teachers knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.” James3:1

Did my part - I did it well,

Kept my wayward soul from Hell,

Happy for the part I played,

Found my place, so there I stayed,

 

Tranquil just to fit within,

Freed from guilt and freed from sin,

Grew to grasp God’s mystery,

Taught the children how to see,

 

Drowned in water then reborn,

Faithful servant Sunday morn,

Felt the calling on my life,

Talking classes with my wife,

 

Then the challenge to my soul,

Die to self and give God whole,

But the old man was not dead,

Clawed at me ‘til reason fled,

 

Wounded, hurting, lonely, blue,

Played the part though through and through,

Prayed and taught and led to God,

Though I felt I was a fraud,

 

Satan wants to pull men down,

Make them stumble, curse and frown,

Doubt salvation, sink in sin,

since he hates all Christian men,

 

Pastors, teachers - targets all,

Labors long to make them fall,

Greed for power, wealth or fame,

Sexual sins to cause great shame,

 

Kill the shepherds, eat the sheep,

Put the bride of Christ to sleep,

The damage that is highest priced,

Corrupt shepherds serving Christ,

 

Disillusioned, left alone,

Not allowed to make it known,

Servants are to never need,

Keep on giving while you bleed,

 

Finally the spark went out,

My cold heart was filled with doubt,

Drained of life, what could I do,

but depart, a failure too,

 

Now I linger out of sight,

Too exhausted from the fight,

Hopeful Jesus will forgive,

and provide the way to live

 

 

 

Reviews

[richieb]

Eddie, enjoyed your poem. You covered all the bases, our best is not good enough for salvation, but Christ's blood frees us. You words are an inspiration for never giving up. Peace, Richie.

[Eddie Davis]

Thank you for your kind words, God bless.

[Carolynn]

Another wonderful poem and so relatable - in His image we were created and given a free will to choose. Without sin we would not know how to love God. We need to experience sin in order to freely "choose" to love God instead of loving sin.

[Eddie Davis]

Thanks for your kind words.

[Blue]

This sums up my struggle. I've been running away from responsibilities that are expected of me as a member of our teaching ministry and as an appointed future leader in our prayer community. It's just too much. I know I could never live up to the image of a good servant leader. I have vices I'm ashamed of so I keep running away. It's been a year now.

Btw, I'm confused as to what the last stanza means. Does it mean he has succumbed to the wiles of the devil knowing God will forgive him anyway and give him a better life sooner or later ? Or does it mean he has stopped being sinful and sought God again, because he knows God is forgiving and He will get him through the struggles?

Sorry for the confusion but I would really appreciate it if you enlighten me. :)

[Eddie Davis]

My thoughts were that the uncertainty the character continues, but he trusts that God will sustain and forgive him while he continues to try to heal and return to a stronger faith. God always understands our struggles and His mercy extends during the time when our faith is fragile. Even when we feel that we are completely spent, God is faithful as long as we cry out to Him in our frustration, anger and even bitterness. There is a common saying that you can run a million miles from God, but He is always just one step away from you, always. Blue, one of the roughest periods of time is young adulthood. Trust God, He's the God of babies, kids, teens, young adults, middle aged adults, seniors and even those breathing their last breath. He still loves you, hang in there.

[Blue]

Thanks for the enlightenment and the encouragement, sir Eddie. :)

[Eddie Davis]

Any time, Blue :)

[Dhaye]

For me, there is no perfect organization or congregation. While we keep on studying and learning the Words of God, our eyes are opened to realities and truths around us and the church. I also experienced almost the same experience plus a lot of trials that made me a passive church-goer for many years. But I realized, it is not the person that I served but God, so I returned.

You expressed well in this piece, Eddie. Full of emotion in great rhymes.

[Eddie Davis]

Thanks, Dhaye, I appreciate your comments.

[NeiL ArandA]

I saw this Eddie. It is well penned. If its something personal. I know the feeling. The Accuser of the bretheren targets the shepherd more than the flock. If he can discourage the shepherd he'll do a great deal of damage. Every lines here really flows and they are all connected. The teachers and ministers will be judge more heavier base on how much truth they know and its base on rewards. The Enemy tempt the christian so they would fall. Then he tries to steal and dampen their testimony. So he tries to kill and steal the fruit of their salvation. Once saved always saved but the enemy can still get the fruit to neutralize our impact and influence. And the most greatest tool or weapon in his arsenals that always works is " Discouragement " ... Awesome write Eddie. ! Its like a sermon in rhyme format but all the juices in it.

[Eddie Davis]

Thank you, Neil, it was a rather difficult poem to share, but I felt I needed to do it to show what can happen to someone who loses focus.

[Relic]

~This is really a remarkable piece. Self-doubt and discouragement are indeed weapons against a Godly man if he so lets it be. There were a couple of lines that went out of meter but I'm wondering if that was on purpose or not?

~You don't mention specifically any reason for his discouragement but you do mention: "Greed for power, wealth or fame, Sexual sins to cause great shame" which leaves the reader wondering if maybe something went on with one of these subjects. Very intriguing and well organized poetry.~

[Eddie Davis]

Thank you, it was one of those poems that went in a direction that surprised me. What did me in was discouragement and lack of support from the denomination that I was serving in. My faith in Jesus Christ has not diminished, however, I am quite disillusioned with the structure of most churches as I feel as if they are mostly worried about growing in size and wealth rather than ministering to the lost and mentoring those new converts that need instruction. However the fault of failure in my case belongs completely on my shoulders. Thank you for reading this rather spontaneously done poem.