Silent Oppression

When you try to be perfect for someone it fails. You feel your world caving in but if you love someone you try. You try until there's nothing left of you. You try until you can only say "I'm through".

Why do I constantly feel that you do not understand me?
Why do I constantly feel that you take everything into your own hands?

You say you listen, but I doubt that.
If you did I wouldn't feel so depressed.

My words, my tone I feel I must alter to your liking.
My actions, my thoughts are constantly on guard that I should do nothing wrong.
I drown slowly inside bending to your needs, your wants.

And sometimes I feel so oppressed.
I sometimes feel so numb.
And sometimes I want to breakdown and scream.

Why?

It's because sometimes I feel that my thoughts, my words, my opinions do not matter.
It's because you have a way of making me feel foolish and stupid for things I have to say.
It's because you make me feel that me being down or hurt for more than five seconds is stupid and selfish.

You're always so quick to have me forgive you...
You're always so quick to have me feel better...

That you forget that I'm not you.
You forget that I"m a total different person.
What may affect you in one way may affect me in another,
So don't act like you know what's best for me.
You do not dwell in my mind.
You have not known me all your life,
So when I say "No!", back off.
When I say, "Stop", there IS a reason.
When I tell you my feelings don't disregard them as petty.
Don't make me feel like a helpless fool trying to find a voice.

I know what i want.
I know how I feel.
I know what I said.
I know what I meant,
So don't look at me stupid when I state my opinions
And don't be upset or surprised if I'm still angry.

I'm not you, so don't expect me to follow your rules.
Don't expect me to feel, want or think the way you do.
Don't expect me to know everything you know.

I feel like I've kept my mouth shut too long!
I feel like my voice hasn't been heard the way I want it to!

My heart and soul are crying out to you saying,
"I'm tired and I can't take much more of this."