A Hundred Times

A Hundred Times

A Poem by eatmills
"

A sad love poem

"

A hundred times, I have looked at the moon.

A hundred times, I have felt loneliness.

A hundred times, I have swooned.

A hundred times, I have felt stillness.

I will not stop thinking of the one that is dear to me.

 

A hundred times, I felt her warmth.

A hundred times, I felt her soul.

A hundred times, I felt her breath.

A hundred times, I felt her pull.

I will not stop feeling you are here with me.

 

A hundred times, I have known right from wrong.

A hundred times, I have known that I was going to fall.

A hundred times, I have known words so strong.

A hundred times, I have known I should have made the call.

I will not stop drinking all alone that is plain to see.

 

And all my friends come in green.

© 2012 eatmills


Author's Note

eatmills
It's amazing how much alcohol is packaged in green bottles.
I have done some editing, thanks to me for noticing.

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Reviews

So is the character in love with a woman or a bottle?

Posted 12 Years Ago


eatmills

12 Years Ago

He's in love with a woman but screwed up the relationship and now he's a drunk because of all the mi.. read more
Kaylor Mason

12 Years Ago

Ah
it's a sad message that the person couldn't beat the habit as though she wasn't worth it. it's a vicious circle. now that his love is gone he will drink even more.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This sounds lovely. I like the repeating of the lines and the last line grabs you .



Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

he he he.. A rough night, or super FUN night.
The poem, the poem, it had sorrow and despair floating atop the green liquid of the season, and 'tis the season... bottoms up!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the imagery and repition, a great piece, well done, good read.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


This visual appeal of this piece is beyond stunning, the I felt, I have, I have known is glorious!

I can feel a lot in something as symmetrical as this...

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Eatmills~
Your poem, "A Hundred Times" seems to be a great vent. However, being a writer that I am, I feel strongish to advise you to add more plot-- rather than just using the phrase, "A hundred times, I have known".
For one thing I found Style and Word Choice needs some going over. (Writing style, and Vocabulary use are lacking skills in this piece that I feel you can put more effort into. )
Also, your Grammar needs some more thought. It seems to me you are Comparing two or more things, with-out explaining those two things.
And lastly, your Sentence structure needs help.
(I.g. instead of saying " have known" try using "knew" or "understand".)
I hope my review has been helpful. :)

P.S. Be sure you read my writings, and also if you like adult writings, please check-out, S. D. Blankenship.

{Ulisigi Wa Ya}

Posted 12 Years Ago



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325 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on March 16, 2012
Last Updated on March 20, 2012
Tags: sad, love, poem

Author

eatmills
eatmills

mississauga, ontaio, Canada



About
What do you want to know? I listen to surf, punk, metal, pop, techno, actually all music. Favourite Writers - William S Burroughs, Philip K Dick, Raymond Chandler, Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe.. more..

Writing
Engine 9 Engine 9

A Poem by eatmills



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