The Truck and the Wife

June 1997: “It’s fresh and new; don’t eat, drink or smoke in here.”

November 1997: “Put something down in the bed BEFORE loading it with firewood!”

April 1998: “Your fishing hat with the hooks got caught in the headliner so you pulled it all down?”
 

August 1998: “How come there are food crumbs, tobacco and ashes all over the floorboard?”

January 1999: “You got drunk and hit what?”

November 1999: “You said the deer you shot messed up the tailgate?"

December 1999: “What did you say you’ll give me for a trade in? You’re kidding!”

Reviews

[Ernie Bailey]

If this truck is so fresh and spankin' new, why are we using it to transport corks of wood anyway? Aren't there other options? I hope the text supports that because then you get this concept:

The first offender is YOU. You are the one setting the car's downfall in motion because YOU are the first one to compromise and allow that which should not be done to this new awsome truck be done, loading firewood. That's interesting, we're always the first REAL offenders, others try sheepishly to get away with stuff, they make suggestions, but once you shrugg and go "ok" it's the first nail in the coffin.

I'm not sure who the characters are. If there's a wife we've got to figure there's a husband. So then I think we can all agree that at least the fishing hat is the husband along with the deer thing. But the rest? Still the husband or is there a son/daughter here? I'll tell you, my first cursory glance led me to believe that this was a whole family. But if it's a family why not 'the truck and the mother'. And there's not a single piece of literary evidence to support my assumption that there is anybody else here besides the husband and wife.

If there is, we need some evidence that there is so every reader can pick up on it. If there's not, i've got to tell you, I think it would be better if there were.

This is really f*****g good progression and sequence. First you yield. Second you've got a disaster to the interior which is totally cosmetic, as not to climax too early, and it totally kills the new car ambience. That leads to the throwing out the window of all those other rules that hinged on a respect for the vehicle, since getting into a truck every day and the roof looks like s**t isn't particularly conducive to respecting the vehicle. Personally I would put the accident last but it's not a big deal. The deer thing is really, i think the fulcrum of the whole piece, the lack of respect for the vehicle leading not to some crumbs or an accident which would probably be covered by insurance but serious events leading to signs of decilne under the careless fingers of the husband.

[Albert Freeman]

This is hilarious. Reminds me of all the new things we cherish and then overtime treat like any other old thing. Love the way you write.

[James K. Blaylock]

This is too funny. Isn't that the way we always take good care of our new items? First we just adore them; then sadly we bore of them. Slowly allowing for rust to come flooding in!