Physical Impropriaties

Who is that woman in the mirror? Do I know her?

 

What happened to the curls in my hair?
Did I hurt their feelings when I used commercialized hair straightener?
Where did most of my teeth go?
Did they think I had a poor diet eating junk food?
How come my freckles are now referred to as liver spots?
Didn’t I have a good time drinking beer?
How come my old clothes are too small?
When I quit smoking, wasn’t it for my health?

 

How did television commercials ruin my life?
Didn’t I take everyone’s marketing advice?

 

The salt used for preservatives gives me hypertension.
The sugar in cereal keeps me diabetic..
The caffeine in soft drinks, coffee and tea gives me insomnia
The cholesterol in red meats clogs my arteries.
Chicken, spinach and peanuts aren’t safe to eat anymore.
Why is there wax in shampoo and wax on fruit?
Do we have to be pretty and eat pretty things to be happy?
Why are all the large-sized clothes ugly?

 

Who is that woman in the mirror? Do I know her?