Ch 1: The Exchange

This is the follow up to "With A Kiss I Give You This." If you haven't read it, you really should... :) PS: I LOVE constructive criticism, so be free to comment. Enjoy.

Aaron

I creep from behind to give a surprise kiss, but I guess she expected. "Hello, babe," I hugged her tightly and kissed her check, "Happy anniversary," I whispered in her ear. She turned around and gave me a kiss. It tasted so soft, and fruitier?  "New lip bloom?" I asked circuitously.
"I decided to try something new, you like it," I smiled at her.
"Anything on you, I love," I half smiled.
"A whole year together." she sighed, "I can't believe we made it." She smiled.
"Well it helped that we've been friends since I can remember," she then spins back into my arms, kissed me softly again, and unwrapped to open her locker.
"I have a present for you," she smiled big while taking a wrapped box out from her locker.
"Oh really?" I smiled flirty, and pulled a long box from the back of my pants pocket, "So do I." Her checks turned bright red. She then exchanged gifts with me.

Jamie

He was the sweeties, and I'm not sure what I'd do without him. I opened the wrapped long narrow box carefully, still watching him open his gift too. I was the first finish to unwrap and open the gift. The box contained a gold heart shaped locket for me to wear around my neck. The heart had A&J in graved, which I found perfect, "Aaron..." the words escaped me.
"You like it?"  he asked knowing that I'd love it.
I nodded my head immediately, "Of course, I love it," I could hardly breathe. It was beautiful.
"Open it," he said still smiling not really paying attention to his gift but my reaction. I opened the cold delicate locket and saw a photo of us, one of our first photos together as a kid.
I wanted to cry, but decided it was best to not burst into tears during school. "I. Love. It. So, so much," I saw a successful feeling in his eyes, which wasn't often. I turned and lifted my hair so he could put it on for me. And once it hit my skin I knew it belonged there.
"Open yours," I insisted.
He finished unwrapping it and finding two concert tickets. "Concert tickets to 30 Seconds to Mars?" He said with the biggest smile. "Oh my god. I love it! And you'll be the prettiest girl in the whole place," he smiled and kissed me.
"I'm glad you liked it," I blushed, "I figured you always listen to them, and I've been getting really into them I'd get you tickets for the both of us." I smiled while he brushed my check.
"I love it, it's perfect, just like you," I blushed gazing into his eyes.
"Yeah, but the concert isn't til May 31st," I sighed, a month until the concert.
"That's fine,"
"No," I said talking his hand "you're gift isn't complete," his eye brow rose.
"What do you mean, this is more than enough," he smiled.
"I'm making you dinner, tonight, at eight." I surprised him, and badly because now both eyebrows were up.
"You know you don't have to." he said easy.
"But I want to," I assured him.
"But you hate cooking," which was true since my parents weren't around often so I got use to it.
"But my parents aren't home tonight, and just don't ruin it okay?" He just nodded his head, kissed me on the check, said goodbye, and headed to first period.

 

Reviews

[bbb]

I n the first part, near the end, I would change 'flirty' to 'flirtatiously.' I think you have the makings of a really good story here, but I will give you some advice and I hope it helps. I would employ the use of a thesaurus as you write. This way you can find fresh new words instead of just everyday ones. It really helps make the writing more colorful and interesting. Good work! :)

[Daydreamer54]

AW, they seem to make a sweeet couple! Cute 1st chaoter and I think u meant to say he's the sweetest.

[Shannie]

aw this is cute:)

[The Queen of Pentacles]

my comments are answered!An sequel!!! Really nice! Just ad a little more description would make it awesome!!!

[Love Is Dead]

This was so romantic. Jamie and Aaron are such a great couple!
I love your writing!