To Understand a Feeling

I want to park my car
And turn the lights off
And lie in the middle if the road

The cold asphalt on my back

I need the stars to come down
And heal my brokenness
And I need to listen for Jesus

To tell me how to heal
To tell me how not to feel so damn broken
To tell me how to deal with these overwhelming emotions

To tell me how to love myself
To tell me how to work through these feelings
That I hate about myself

I want to feel the crisp nighttime air
And the cold road

Because those are feelings I can grasp
Those are the ones I understand

But the ones on the inside
Defeat me
Drain me
Eat me
Deceive me

My feelings wrote this
They spilled into thoughts

But I still can't grasp anything

To understand these feelings
Would be to breathe again