You Tell Me

the weight of your disguise

pulls me deeper
as attempts to pull you out
diminish

the devastation in your veins
illuminates the clouds
through torn and
shredded flesh

cringing at the thought of your
indecision
your stability is fleeting

tension strikes the timeless clock
enveloped in your
destructive
vulnerability

slick as silicone
the pulse of fluffy pancakes...
silence was a
stunning perfection

Reviews

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I like this subject matter. Seeing the "weight" of someone's disguise is a really good subject matter!! I love the line "slick as silicone!!" Cringing at the thought of indecision is something I know about in more than a few relationships. Tension striking a timeless clock is a great image too!! Destructive vulnerability is a great concept too!! I like how much sense this all makes...all the way up to the end....I mean, EXCEPT the end. I think you lost me on the pancakes...Good going!!!

[Each Word Counts]

Thank you! The pancakes had a special meaning, and are supposed to confuse! Glad you enjoyed it!

[Shaun Payton]

I guess each word does count. This was good. A sense I got, I related it to an addiction.

[Each Word Counts]

Thank you so much! :)

[Shaun Payton]

You are most welcome poet:)

[Shaun Payton]

So poetess, we will be reading more of works hopefully?

[Each Word Counts]

Definitely! I'll post more soon. Check out my blog in the meantime if you're interested? Leave some comments there too? :)
http://eachwordcounts.blogspot.com

[Shaun Payton]

Alright cool! I comment everything I read. :) Tomorrow I will look at the blogspot OK?

[Each Word Counts]

Perfect! Thank you!

[Shaun Payton]

You are quite welcome. I love poetry, some would say more than life itself lol

[Each Word Counts]

That's how I feel about words in general!

[Shaun Payton]

Words express so much, some times we can underestimate them, but they capture so much, namely adjectives or ideas.

[Each Word Counts]

Exactly!!!

[Shaun Payton]

I may have to write a poem now Each Word Counts lol

[Each Word Counts]

Oh I just wrote a few! haha

[Shaun Payton]

Words or poems? Haha They all count!:)

[Each Word Counts]

Poems out of words!

[Shaun Payton]

Lol so that's how poetry works lol Well now I'm looking forward to reading more poet.

[Each Word Counts]

Look forward to your comments!

[Shaun Payton]

Each word of the comments will count :)

[Each Word Counts]

Sounds good! New poem up on this profile too.

[Shaun Payton]

I just read it poet.